There I was, sitting back and typing away at an article for Disaboom when an instant message popped up on the screen.
Hello.
It was a screen name that I didn’t recognize, but I’m always getting instant messages from parents of deaf and hard of hearing children or other writers.
I typed back. Hi. Who is this please?
Hi, this is Eric Lawrence. How are you today?
So we exchanged chit chat. Thinking that he was possibly a parent that I couldn’t remember, I wracked my brain trying to remember who Eric Lawrence was.
And then it came.
We are here to congratulate you on the $150,000 you have won from the Australian Deaf Lottery! Congrats, you are a winner!
Oh my gosh. I couldn’t contain my excitement. One hundred and fifty grand! Whatever would I do with it? I could buy a summer home! I could buy a new boat! I could donate a large amount to Hands & Voices!
Your screen name was was selected by our computing balotting [sic] system, he went on.
Amused, I decided to play along a bit. I was instructed to give my name and address so that the certified check could be sent to my home. When I inquired about the website of the Australian Lottery, I was told that it was still under construction and that dear Eric would send me the link as soon as it was up.
I told him I wasn’t convinced.
Alright, you have a choice, he said. And the choice is that you can follow your heart but we will advice you to trust and believe in us and you will be surprised what will happen. We will get your winning check mailed out to you with immediate effect.
No thanks, I said.
And poof, he disappeared.
I’ve also won $50,000, $250,000 and one million since then.
None of the checks have come in the mail.
Maybe it’s because I forgot to give them my address?