“Mom, I’m quitting college.”
Not the words I wanted to hear, but I shouldn’t have been too surprised. My daughter, Ren, had a love/hate relationship with formalized education since she was in elementary school. I can remember some days having to shove her out the car door to make her go to school.
(Yes, I was that kind of parent.)
“Okay, so what’s your plan?” I asked her.
She had her heart set on acting. She was going to come home after the semester ended and figure out a plan. She might move to New York City and live with her cousin. She might try and get a job in Los Angeles and live with a friend. She just knew she wasn’t going to go back to college. Acting school, maybe.
As a parent, I wrestled with a whole range of emotions.
The parent side of me screamed, “oh-my-gosh-she’s-gonna-have-a-tough-life-without-a-degree!”
The Passion Coach side of me calmly whispered, “let her have her journey, she’ll figure it out.”
My conversations with Ren showcased the whole range of those emotions and thoughts. During one conversation, I was calm and rational, even positive. During other conversations, I brought out the “play it safe” cards and the “get your degree first–after that you can do whatever you want” rationality. I think I said some not-so-nice things.
“How can you tell others to follow their passions if you won’t let your own daughter follow her heart?” she asked me.
Yes, she called me on it.
And she was right. I had to let go. This was her journey. Even if I pulled the parenting card and insisted she stay in college, I knew it would create the biggest thorn between us. She had been miserable with school since fourth grade and we had plenty of battles over it.
As the end of summer rolled around, the plan was still unclear. My daughter even had moments of self-doubt, of wondering what direction to go in next.
Then out of the blue, she found an audition for Spring Awakening on Broadway. Without a single bit of hesitation, she booked a flight.
When she called me on FaceTime to tell me that she acquired a swing role in the play, the joy on her face was crazy radiant. Within a month, she moved to New York City and began studying the lines for four different roles. It wasn’t an easy journey. She slept on a couch until she could find a place of her own. She had to learn the roles without much practice time on the stage.
After many, many weeks of sitting in the audience, the swing room, and backstage, Ren made her debut on stage in the role of Thea. I flew to New York and her older brother joined me. As we sat in the audience waiting for the play to begin, my heart was pounding for her. She was going to step on a Broadway stage for the first time.
I thought back to a lesson that Janet Attwood, author of The Passion Test, taught me. “Whenever you are faced with a decision, a choice, or an opportunity, always choose in favor of your passions.” And Ren had done just that. She chose passion.
I can’t even begin to describe the incredible feeling that bubbled inside of me as I watched Ren perform with Marlee Matlin, Camryn Manheim, Andy Mientus and the Spring Awakening cast. Perform doesn’t even seem to be the right word. She became Thea.
As the cast took their final bow, I thought back to the uncertainty Ren faced when she made the decision to walk away from the “safe” route to pursue something she was immensely passionate about. She didn’t have a plan. She didn’t know the “how.” But she was very, very clear on the what.
And the passion? Well, see for yourself:
Spring Awakening Cast Congratulates Ren After Debut
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Howard wanted to be a movie producer when he was a young child but he took a detour by going to medical school to become a doctor instead. In the middle of an operation, Howard decided to listen to his calling for the arts. That decision lead to a career in Hollywood. “Making movies and storytelling, that’s my passion,” Howard said.
