Tag: deaf

  • Eddie Runyon, Fraud Investigator

     
    Eddie Runyon works as a Special Investigator for Kentucky Employer’s Mutual Insurance, he investigates potential fraud cases.
    Tell me a bit about yourself.
     
    I grew up in far Eastern Kentucky, attending the Pikeville Independent School system as a mainstreamed student.  I was hard of hearing, had no interpreters or note-takers, or any other accommodations like that (even though IDEA was already a law at the time), no one took the time to share with my parents what accommodations were out there that could have been helpful to me through the educational process.  I’m married to a wonderful wife (Yvette), and we have two children, a daughter (Triniti, age 12) and a son (Brock, age 8) and reside in Pikeville, Ky.,  I’m a graduate of Eastern Kentucky University with 2 degrees, an A.A. in Business and Industrial Security and Loss Prevention, and a B.S. in Loss Prevention Management.  I attended Gallaudet University for one year (1990-91), where I was a member of the university baseball team (teammate of Mark Drolsbaugh).  I currently spend what little free time I have advocating for the deaf and hard of hearing on different issues, am an Executive Board member of the Kentucky Chapter of the National Society of Professional Insurance Investigators (NSPII), a member of the International Association of Special Investigations Units (IASIU), President of the Board of the Pikeville Aquatics Club, previously coached youth sports with the local YMCA, currently a member of the Access to Captioned Movies study group recently formed by the Kentucky Commission on the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, and serve on the Kentucky Relay Service Advisory Board.  I like to stay busy, in other words! Also, I lost the rest of my hearing by about the age of 17, so I’ve been deaf for most of my life.
     
     
    Tell me about your job– how did you get into this job/line of work?
     
    It was almost by accident, to be honest.  For most of my college life, I had bounced around between majors, never seeming to find my “niche”.  One day, I was thumbing through the class schedule as I was preparing for another semester of school at EKU, and the “Loss Prevention” program caught my eye.  My father was a police officer and former Deputy US Marshal, so I had grown up around security most of my life.  I went to talk to an advisor, and he wasn’t very hopeful. He just didn’t think, based on my academic accomplishments at the time, that I had the initiative or drive to do well in that line of work.  I HATE being told I can’t do something, so I signed up anyway.  Needless to say, 2 years later (and 8 consecutive semesters of “Deans List” or better grades), I had my degrees.  While pursuing these degrees, I got a job with a local security company that was looking to hire an investigator to start that branch in their business, focusing on Worker’s Compensation investigations and “general” investigations.  I was fortunate that the owner/President was willing to look past my deafness and hire me based on my desire.  I went on to be a Senior Investigator for him and helped build it into a sustainable branch of their business.  I left there and went into the retail field as a Loss Prevention Manager for Shoe Carnival, and over the course of 5 years with them, rose to the position of Market Loss Prevention Manager, responsible for (at the time) what was their second largest (in terms of sales) market in the company.  I moved on to Lowe’s Home Improvement, starting out as a Loss Prevention Manager for them and went on to be promoted to District Loss Prevention, Safety, and Haz-Mat Manager, responsible for 10 stores, approximately 1500+ employees, and over $450 million in yearly sales, within only 3 years.  I remained in that position for just over 2 years before leaving for my current job so that I would have more family time.  I currently am a Special Investigator for Kentucky Employer’s Mutual Insurance, and I investigate cases in which there may potentially be fraud occurring.
     
    What is the best part of your job?
     
    It is NEVER the same from day to day.  I spend a lot of time in the field, doing video surveillance, but I also spend time on the computer gathering information, doing courthouse research, responding to accident scenes to film and gather information for the company, testifying in depositions, and so on.  It is challenging from day to day, and requires a lot of time-management skills and the ability to multi-task, and wear different “hats” for the company.  One day I may be in court as the face of the company, the next, I’m in anonymity, filming covertly to see if someone is faking or exaggerating an injury, etc.
     
     
    What are some challenges you face on the job?
     
    Definitely, one of the challenges I face, is the fact that I work alone the majority of the time, and in very rural areas.  The lack of sufficient telephonic access for me in times of potential danger is very real.  It is one of the reasons I’m pushing so hard for relay companies to develop and make available to wireless users, a VCO-capable mobile “CAPTEL” (based on the Hamilton Relay Service version that is currently available only for I-Phones with 3G access).  I realize, that as an oral deaf person, that may seem limited in scope on my part, but I always explain to people that the largest majority of the hearing loss community is hard of hearing, and many are oral.  I’m really hoping that becomes available soon, it will be fantastic to have that for my Blackberry!  Also, daily ignorance in the hearing community is still very real.  I can’t tell you how often I have to explain to people what accommodations are needed and required to be provided, etc.  I’ve often been the first, or one of the only deaf people in my field of work everywhere I’ve gone, so I’m used to having to educate people.  But I’m fortunate, the company I work for is FANTASTIC about providing me with whatever I need to succeed.  They understand that the return on investment for accommodations often much more than is paid for by the increased productivity and results I can subsequently bring in as a result of the accommodation(s).
     
    What was it like growing up deaf/hard of hearing?
     
    It was very reclusive for me, really.  I was isolated, I knew no other deaf or hard of hearing people who could serve as a role model for me.  So I didn’t know what I could or could not do in “the real world”, I didn’t even learn sign language until I attended Gallaudet when I was 21!  But, I have FANTASTIC parents who refused to allow me to simply give up on stuff.  I was always being pushed to excel in whatever I did, and it was instilled in me from an early age, that as a hard of hearing/deaf person, I would often have to be twice as good, just to be considered equal.  How true that turned out to be! 
     
    What advice would you give a deaf/hard of hearing person who is looking for a career like yours?
     
    Find a good school (such as EKU, John Jay, etc.) with programs in security, loss prevention, asset protection, etc. and GO FOR IT.  Be willing to work the “scut” jobs when starting out, no one ever starts out at the top, you have to work your way up.  Too often, I meet people who are happy to work part-time because they don’t want to give up SSI, etc.  Often it is because they don’t see the big picture.  I know that is controversial, but it is true.  I make a very nice living now, and yes, I had to sacrifice some in the beginning so that I could work my way into a salary position that actually paid a living wage.  So my advice would be for people to take a big picture view when they start out in this field (or any other field), and set the goal of the position they want to be in in 2, 3 or 4 years, and WORK to make it happen.  Success in any field is not an overnight journey, it requires hard work and sacrifice in the beginning, and it requires willingness to dream big to achieve big.  My favorite saying is “Go hard or go home”.
  • Donald Moore, IT Professional and Blogger

    Donald Moore works as an Information Technology professional at the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. He works on a technology team that provides Content Management solutions to other Federal Reserve Districts across the country (there are 12 Districts). At night, Donald runs a blog at Prosumertech on the use of technologies and accessibility features to help others learn what technology solutions are available for everyday use for the deaf/hoh consumers. The idea for his blog started due to his on-going exposure to technology at work, curiosity of new technologies for personal needs, and conversations and questions from others seeking help.

    Where did you attend school and what were the school years like?

    I am the only deaf/hard of hearing member of my family. We did not utilize sign language during my childhood because I have some residual hearing, and was encouraged to attend public schools via mainstreaming. Minor accommodations were usually done to address my needs in school. Since my dad was a Geologist with major oil and mining companies, it required frequent relocations. In addition, being actively involved with Scouts, along with the frequent relocations; it gave me the opportunity to travel extensively throughout the U.S. I didn’t really learn sign language until I took a summer crash course at Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C. just prior to enrolling for my freshman year.

    Since I grew up in several major cities (Houston, NJ/NYC, Tulsa, Dallas, D.C. and now Chicago), prior to attending Gallaudet University, the availability of the Internet, meeting other deaf/hoh individuals was not commonplace. With the frequent relocations, attending a number of different schools sometimes presented challenges. Today we have family members located across the country; we stay in touch via email, chat, and SMS.

    When you were younger, what did you want to be when you “grew up”?

    When I was younger, some thought I would have a career in architecture and drafting, this was before the PC become popular, and the wide spread of consumer technologies. While in high school I was involved in Explorer Scouts with ExxonMobil in their IT department in Houston, which was my first real exposure to the use of computers and technology in the workplace.

    When I started on my bachelor’s degree at Gallaudet University, I first had some interest in Accounting and Business Law, but due to course scheduling conflicts and availability, and that new technologies were appearing – I had become interested in a career in the Information Technology field. I wanted to combine the need to solve business problems by the use of technology. During the course of my career, I have stayed current with technologies at home and in the work place by exploration, readings, taking graduate coursework, and seeking involvements in new projects at work.

    Education I have a Masters in Management Information Systems and E-Commerce from the University of Maryland. As well as a Bachelors in Computer Information Systems / Business Administration from Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C. I am currently pursuing my MBA via an online program, also with the University of Maryland.

    What is your current job and what is a typical day like on the job?

    There is no such a thing as a “typical” work day within an IT department. I often have to juggle a number of things: such as attending meetings and training sessions, crafting the next PowerPoint or Intranet article, develop and test web / CMS applications, work on application or database design specifications, interact with employees cross-country via instant messaging, and utilize email for more detailed communications. The variations of tasks, problems, and technologies helps makes working within the IT field interesting and challenging!

    Previous Work Experience

    <!–[if !vml]–><!–[endif]–>As some say “The jobs of tomorrow haven not yet been created”. I encourage everyone to remain flexible and adaptive to the work place. My career hasn’t been exactly in a straight line from point “A” to “B”. During high school I worked summer jobs in restaurants and mowed lawns for a builder, for a year ran computer labs in college, did a technology internship with H.U.D. for one summer. Out of college, I started in the hardware/help desk area, then progressed to programming with mainframes, financial data reporting, served as a web master, and now work with web, content management and digital assets.

    What advice would you share with a student who is considering career choices?

    In today’s work environment, you are ultimately responsible for your own career development. Do research, talk to others in the field(s) you are interested in, and make an effort to stay on top of your field by staying current with the trends and technologies used in the work place. If offered, take advantage of training opportunities with your employer – whether it’s for on the job training or getting support for an advanced degree. I’m currently studying for my MBA, even though I already have a Masters in Computer Information Systems – a lot has changed in the work place with technology within the past 10 years. Go for a career where your interests and abilities are – it doesn’t necessarily have to be what your parents want you to do/be.

    Donald Moore can be reached at: mooredlm (at) comcast.net

    Blog: http://prosumertech.blogspot.com

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/mooredlm

    LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/donaldlmoore

     

  • How Deaf Weddings are Different

    It was an absolutely stunning day for a wedding on Saturday. The colorful mums were in full bloom and the sun began a slow descent when Ron and Meredith exchanged their vows in American Sign Language. About half of the guests were deaf or hard of hearing. There were supposed to be two interpreters there, one for the audience and one for the couple, but one interpreter did not show. It was difficult to view the interpreter from where I was sitting but I caught as much as I could. Standing on either side of the couple was the groom’s two young sons with the cutest smiles on their faces.

    I especially enjoy deaf/hard of hearing weddings because at those weddings, communication is often a breeze at the dinner table and on the dance floor. When the hubby and I are seated at a wedding where all the guests at my table are hearing, we are often left out of conversations that simply flow too fast for us to follow. Sometimes we’ll gamely attempt to join in the conversation and let everyone know what they need to do to include us. The conversation will slow, we’ll toss in some banter, but it usually ends up going back to the same fast pace at some point. Then we end up talking to each other.

    Deaf/hard of hearing weddings are a whole different ball game. Conversations zip back and forth visually while the bread gets passed around. Shoulders are tapped, arms are waved and the energy in the air takes on a different vibe. I catch the eye of a friend two tables down and we catch up on news while we wait for the salad to arrive.

    It’s not long before the first napkin pops up in the air. Then another joins, and another– until the air in the whole room is pulsating with the napkins that are being whipped around and around. The usual tradition for a bride and groom to kiss is the sound of a spoon tapping against a water glass. That tradition doesn’t serve well at deaf and hard of hearing weddings where the couple may not hear the tinking sound. Instead, it is a tradition to whip the napkins around in the air to signal the couple that it is time for a kiss.

    On the way home from the wedding, the hubby and I reflected on the evening. “I always like going to deaf weddings,” he commented. “We can just kick back and not have to struggle to understand everyone, ya know?”

    Yes, I know.

  • Howard Rosenblum, Attorney

    Photobucket

    Howard Rosenblum was just twelve years old when he attended an event that changed his life and determined his career path.  At the event, he met Lowell Myers, a deaf attorney who had argued a famous case which was made into a movie, Dummy.

    Howard recalls the event:  “When he came to speak about his experiences as a lawyer at an event in 1978, a twelve-year-old deaf boy saw the same opportunity that Mr. Myers saw for himself. That boy was me, and thanks to Mr. Myers, I became a lawyer 14 years later.”

    Today, Howard is a Senior Attorney at Equip for Equality located in Chicago– a non-profit organization that advances the human and civil rights of people with disabilities.   He holds an undergraduate degree from the University of Arizona and a J.D. from Chicago-Kent College of Law.  He is the founder and director of the Midwest Center for Law and the Deaf which provides attorney referrals for deaf and hard of hearing people.  In 2002, he received the Edward J. Lewis II Pro Bono Service Award for providing many years of pro bono work during his tenure at the law firm of Monahan and Cohen.

    Howard credits his parents for encouraging him to pursue his dream and to ignore the naysayers.  Just as Myers inspired Howard, Howard is now inspiring other deaf and hard of hearing individuals with his path.  The number of deaf and hard of hearing attorneys continues to grow, and together, they’re breaking down barriers.

  • Lions Camp for Deaf and Hard of Hearing Kids

    My kids are still talking about this year’s week at Camp Lions.  Every year, they look forward to that one, magical week with all their friends.  The conversations last all year–via sleepovers, Facebook sharing, texts that fly back and forth and videophone calls.

    My kids spend all day in the mainstream going to classes with students who can hear so they cherish their time with deaf and hard of hearing friends.  Those friendships are deeply important, because communication isn’t an issue and being different isn’t an issue.

    At a deaf picnic this summer, a young mother came up to me and signed, “Do you remember me?”  I looked at her–she looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t place the moment in time where we knew each other.

    “You were my camp counselor at Camp Lions!” she said.

    Back in the mid-80s, I did one summer as a camp counselor for the Lions Camp.  I also did one summer as a waterski instructor at Camp Endeavor in Florida.  It’s easy for the kids to remember the counselors, much harder for counselors to remember the many kids!  But I did remember the young girl at camp and it was amazing to see her as a mother to her own kiddos years later.

    I have several friends who attended the Lions Camps as young kids and thirty-plus years later, they can recall the fun they had and the connections that were made.  It’s no surprise that Camp Lions continues to fill up year after year.  They are now in their 51st year of providing camps to deaf and hard of hearing kids in Illinois.

    So I’m writing this to publicly thank the Camp Lions of Illinois and the Lions of Illinois Foundation because if not for the tireless efforts of every Lion group in Illinois who fundraise each year– the deaf and hard of hearing kids in Illinois would have no magical week to remember.

    Thank you.

    Camp is Over, It’s Back to the Real World


  • Are You in the Deaf/Hard of Hearing Closet?

    For many years, I hid in the deaf/hard of hearing closet. I wasn’t comfortable dealing with the lone hearing aid that was given to me in fourth grade. During the school day, I hid the hearing aid under my thick hair and pulled off some impressive bluffing maneuvers. I would smile and nod along to conversations during lunch time and at recess.  I did so well that the teachers often told my Mom that I was getting along “just fine in the classroom despite my hearing loss.”

    When I look back at my early years in elementary education, I know that I had hearing loss long before it was diagnosed. I remember looking around after getting off the monkey bars, only to find all the kids lined up against the wall, ready to go back inside. I was the last kid left on the playground and I learned to calculate the time left at recess so I wouldn’t be the last kid in. I remember the kindergarten teacher coming over to tap me whenever nap time had ended. I quickly learned to watch the kid next to me and when they got up, I got up.

    In second grade, the teacher had a reading session and introduced the book, “Curious George.” I couldn’t get the word “curious.”

    “Erius George,” I repeated after her.

    No, she said. She repeated the word and then went on reading. I stared at the book, seeing the man with the yellow hat and the brown monkey. I had no idea what the book was about or the interactions between the man and the monkey. It wasn’t until I had my first kid and obtained a copy of “Curious George,” that I finally learned what the story was about.

    There are a lot of chunks of my life like that.

    I’m sure to my teachers, I appeared to be doing pretty good in school. In seventh grade, we had a class where we each took turns reading a paragraph out loud. I would calculate the number of students ahead of me, count the paragraphs in the book and figure out where I needed to start reading. Sometimes I would get lucky and see someone close to me reading with their finger on each word and if I listened, I could follow along with the words. Then when it was my turn, I’d start in on the correct paragraph.

    But inside of me, I know my stomach was churning and I was tense in trying to keep up. There were thousands of situations all through the school day, in after-school activities or on the playground where I was hyper-alert in trying to follow it all.

    I’m sure today, there are kids still going through this routine– this coping skill that gets them through the day as “normal” as possible.

    I can remember the day I came out of the deaf/hard of hearing closet. It was actually in college. I rode the bus with my hair pulled back in a pony tail and my hearing aid perched on my ear.

    And I didn’t care.

    For the first time in my life, I didn’t care who saw my hearing aid in public.

    That was a turning point for me.

    Over the years, I’ve met some people walking around with that closet around them.  Any talk about being deaf or hard of hearing is a painful thing. They know that elephant in the room is there and they step aside so they can talk around it.

    One only has to type in “deaf mom” on Google and they’ll quickly learn that Karen Putz and DeafMom go hand in hand. There would be no hiding the fact from a potential employer nor would I even try. Lately, I’ve been receiving emails from other bloggers, who share that they’re hard of hearing or deaf, but they don’t want to highlight that in their blogs for various reasons. Some feel that their hearing status has no bearing on their life. Others feel it’s a sign of weakness and they don’t want to share that.

    “I don’t hide it in person,” says Holly Kolman. “It’s just that the internet is forever.”

    After chatting with Holly, I learned that she had never published anything online about being hard of hearing. She was willing to discuss it for the first time online on this blog.

    “Life with a hearing loss means everything is harder,” she explained. “Almost everyone takes it for granted that people can hear…it’s like expecting someone with normal breathing to understand what asthma feels like–it’s impossible. It is very socially isolating. People think that you’re ignoring them when you don’t answer and they take it personally.”

    Holly recalled that some of her teachers did not understand what she was going through in the classroom. Over the years, they told her, “You hear what you want to hear.”

    I’ve been told that too. 

    In sixth grade music class, we had a test where everyone had to listen to a recording on tape and then write down the beat times.  The teacher noticed that I wasn’t writing anything down.  She tried to explain what I needed to do.  Again, I tried to listen along.  Again, there was nothing for me to write down. 

    The teacher was upset.  To this day, I still remember her words:  “Karen, you need to turn your hearing aid up and listen!” 

    I told my Mom about this incident and she marched to the principal’s office the next day and explained why I couldn’t follow the music.  The principal called in the music teacher and for some reason, he made me issue an apology to her.  I didn’t understand why, but there I was, saying I was sorry.  To substitute for the missed test, I had to write two 500-word essays on the piano and the guitar–over Christmas vacation.  While my friends were enjoying a break, I was writing reports.

    I think we’ve come a long way in terms of awareness, but I think we still have a ways to go to break down those closets that are still walking around out there.

  • Being Deaf–And Thankful

    I’m thankful I’m deaf.

    I was thinking that to myself on the way home from the Midwest Center on Law and the Deaf  fundraiser last night.

    Now wait a minute, Karen–isn’t that a little crazy?  Wouldn’t life be so much easier if you had hearing in the normal range?

    Sure.  Yeah.  A little easier, perhaps.

    But here’s the thing: I’m living an incredibly rich, full life.  And that life includes people who are deaf, hard of hearing, deaf blind and hearing.  When I was growing up, all of my peers were people with normal hearing.  I had a childhood flush with a variety of friends, but man, I had to work hard to access every conversation.  So I’m thankful for learning American Sign Language when I became deaf at nineteen, because that’s the moment the world opened up for me.  It didn’t seem like it at the time, because I was thinking it was a pretty crappy hand that I was dealt back then.  I hated wearing the hearing aid 24/7, but the silence was more frightening to me.

    That silence came in handy when kid number one, two and three arrived.  They were loud.  Turning off the hearing aid became a thing of bliss.   And when kid number one, two and three lost their hearing, for a time, I wasn’t thankful. 

    But today–today, I’m thankful.  I look at my three kids and can’t even imagine them as kids with normal hearing.  The hearing aids they wear are as much a part of them as their eyes are brown.  The biggest difference between me and my kids is that they’re growing up with a sense of pride and confidence about being deaf and hard of hearing.  I was the opposite– I bluffed and hid it every chance that I could when I was growing up.

    Sure, there are days when I want to toss out the IEP papers and not have to remember who’s the head of the IEP team for which child.  Sue, my friend who is a mom of three kids– one deaf, one hard of hearing and one hearing, tells me how easy it is with a child who can hear.  No IEP, no IEP meetings, no searching for peers who are deaf/hard of hearing, no fiddling with technology, no stomping floors to reach out.  A little easier, perhaps, but that’s about it.  

    Last night, when the evening began to wane, I was sitting around a table watching the hands fly back and forth and thinking to myself, I’m so thankful for the path in my life that lead me to all of this.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

    CSDVRS Team at MCLD
    CSDVRS Team at MCLD
    Karen and Howard Rosenblum, MCLD
    Karen and Howard Rosenblum, MCLD
  • John Denver Song Makes Me Think of Deaf/Hard of Hearing Children

    I spent the afternoon playing around over at Overstream, learning how to add captions to a video.  I figured that it was time to learn, especially since Stephen Hopson and Glenda Watson Hyatt will be joining me to present at SOBCon’09 and we’ll be talking about web accessibility.

    I selected a John Denver video, Children of the Universe, since I know that song by heart.  But there was another reason for me to choose that song:  it always makes me think of deaf and hard of hearing children.  How different we all are, yet we are all brothers and sisters.  As different as we are, we make up one universe. 

    “To understand that life is more than always choosing sides.”

    It’s captioned. Enjoy!

  • You’re Not Really…Deaf, Are You?

    You’re not really deaf– are you?

    I stared at my teammate.  We had played volleyball together for many years and she had interpreted for me and another deaf teammate during our huddles.  This was the first time she had ever asked me questions about being deaf.

    Yes, I said, nodding my head. 

    “But you’re not as deaf as David, right?”

    “Actually, our audiograms show that he has better hearing than me,” I explained.  She looked at me with a puzzled look.

    “But you have such good speech!” 

    So I explained more.  How I couldn’t use the phone nor understand anything on the radio.  I explained my speech discrimination scores– the scores that show how well someone can understand speech by auditory means alone.  I score a zero in my left ear and a six percent in my right ear, a score obtained by a lucky guess.   The squiggly lines on the audiogram start at 90 and hover around 110 decibels.  This is the level that I begin to detect sound without my hearing aids.  The hearing aids help me to hear when someone starts speaking but without lipreading, captioning or sign language, the information coming in auditorily makes no sense.

    She paused and looked at me in silence.  “You have some great lipreading skills,” she said.  I could see that she was digesting all this information in a new light.

    This isn’t the first time that this has happened–it is something that happens frequently.  That’s why hearing loss is often referred to as the “invisible disability.”   Often people are unaware at the incredible amount of work it takes to gather information and understand communication that goes on around us on a daily basis.   And others are often unaware of how much just slides by, because it’s physically impossible to get 100% access to all that goes on around us when the sense of hearing isn’t all there.

    At a social gathering in Chicago, I chatted with fellow writers, most who knew me as Deaf Mom but were meeting me for the first time.  I think few realized that I was lipreading entire conversations and there were chunks of the evening that I missed.  For example, when the hosts got up in front and started talking, there really was no polite way to interrupt the middle of their speech and say, “Hey, can you say that again, I missed what you said?”  So that kind of stuff slides right by.  And to the casual onlooker, it probably seems like I’m getting access to the communication– there’s nothing to indicate that it’s sliding right over my head.

    At a friend’s wedding, I was meeting an older woman for the first time and I missed something that she said.  “Oh the music is so loud!” she said, and then proceeded to explain again what she said.  I still didn’t understand what she said and I explained that I was deaf.  She cocked her head to the side a bit, looked at me and said…

    “Oh!  But you seem so normal!”

  • The Last Lecture–And the Deaf Connection


    “For the next BookHands meeting, we’re going to read The Last Lecture
    by Jeffrey Zaslow,” announced Tanya Hammersmith.  We had gathered at Patti Phadke’s house during the recent Sunday and had just finished a discussion of Nights in Rodanthe by Nicholas Sparks.   I was really excited about Tanya’s pick, because it was a book on my “must read” pile and it was going to be my selection for my own hosting turn anyway.

    For those of you who are not familiar with Randy Pausch, you can view the The Last Lecture, a speech that he shared at Carnigie Hall after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  The video is over an hour in length and is open captioned:

    Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

    Sadly, Randy passed away in July, but not without leaving many life lessons in his lecture.  What was intended as a gift to his children turned into a gift that many of us can take away from his lecture.

    When I first heard of Randy’s book, I noticed that it was written with Jeffrey Zaslow.  The name seemed so familiar to me but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  Then I remembered:  Jeff had a regular column in the Chicago Sun Times and he wrote a column on the Depcik family, a deaf family from Lyons, Illinois.   Caroline Depcik and I had played volleyball together for many years–and Joe and I shared our honeymoon with Kay (Caroline’s sister) and her husband Paul.

    I emailed Caroline to see if she could find a copy of the column but she said it was buried somewhere in the house.  So I emailed Jeff Zaslow to see if he could pull up a copy that I could share.  He kindly responded with a copy of the column and permission to share it:

    Hi Karen,

    Thanks for writing. You brought up a long-ago memory of my column on the Depciks, so I pulled it out of the WSJ library. (I’ve been at the WSJ now for 7 years). I enjoyed my time at their house…20 years ago!!  

     Anyway, I hope you enjoy The Last Lecture and please thank everyone at the book club for reading it.

    All the best,

    Jeff Zaslow

    Deaf family of 7 shows silence can be golden

    Jeffrey Zaslow

    672 words

    8 February 1988

    Chicago Sun-Times

    FIVE STAR SPORTS FINAL

    35

    English

    © 1988 Chicago Sun Times. Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning. All rights reserved.

    Caroline Depcik begins her letter bluntly: “Unless you’re a coward, what could be more fun and interesting than visiting a family of seven deaf people who live normal lives?”

    As an advice columnist who makes house calls, I’ve asked readers to invite me for dinner. Caroline’s letter is so challenging, I have to visit her house first.

    So I head out to Lyons and am welcomed by the Depciks with big smiles and cold beer. Robert and Rita Depcik are deaf. Their children – Michael, Valerie, Paul, Caroline and Kay – range in age from 18 to 25. All are deaf.

    I quickly learn that in their world, I’m handicapped. As they converse effortlessly with their hands, my ears are useless. Luckily, the Depciks have also invited deaf friends who can hear to some degree or read lips well enough to translate for me. (The quotes that follow are translated from sign language.)

    The Depciks are attractive, well-adjusted and love a good laugh. Responding to sign language commands, their dog does tricks for me – rolling over, playing dead.

    Except for touches like flashing-light alarm clocks, their suburban home looks like any other. It is the dinner-table conversation that is so different.

    Michael, 18, has just returned from Australia. Though Australians speak English, “their sign language was like French to me,” he says. He felt self-conscious, signing with an American accent.

    Caroline tells of how a man approached her in a loud, crowded bar. She motioned to him that she couldn’t hear. He thought the loud music was the problem. He kept shouting, then gave up, confused.

    Scott Morrison, a family friend, explains how he went deaf: “I was 11 years old and watching `The Twilight Zone’ on TV. The sound kept getting lower. The next morning, I couldn’t hear. My hearing went into the Twilight Zone.”

    Scott’s wife, Deeadra, is deaf, but their son, Daylon, 2, is not. Deeadra and Daylon were recently on a playground, signing to one another. “Parents looked at us like we were freaks,” she says. “Daylon wasn’t embarrassed. But I know he’ll go through a stage where he’ll be ashamed of me.”

    I ask for complaints about hearing people. A half-dozen hands start signing at once. Scott hates people who gawk: “In a restaurant, I ask to sit facing the wall, so I won’t see people staring when I sign.”

    Some people are ignorant about the deaf. “They ask if we read Braille, or if we can pray, or how we communicate when we make love,” says Iris Martinez, a family friend. “I say, `Date a deaf person and find out!’ ”

    The old phrase “deaf and dumb” still stings. “There’s a lack of confidence in us,” says Valerie.

    Another complaint is that local TV news is not captioned for the deaf. “When Mayor Washington died, we were desperate to know what was going on,” says Iris’s husband, Fidel.

    Their advice to the hearing: Don’t bother screaming; even a bullhorn won’t help. If your children are deaf, learn how to sign. (A poem from a deaf child to his family begins: “What I want most is to hear your loving hand. . . .”)

    “We don’t want sympathy,” says Iris, who has been sent free drinks by people who see her signing in restaurants. “All we ask is patience, understanding and if you can’t communicate by speaking, write it down. People can hear with their eyes. They can talk with their hands.”

    While the Depcik women watch “Dynasty” (with captions), I have another beer and some laughs with the men. By then, it’s late. I thank Rita for a great meal and we say our goodbyes.

    Once in my car, I listen to the radio self-consciously. Then I turn it off and drive home in silence.