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The first thing I noticed when I met Mary Clark 23 years ago was her smile. We were in one of those dull, never-ending meetings which involved advocacy of some sort for our jobs, but after exchanging introductions, I knew there was something special about this gal. She was a quiet, gentle soul who had a way of speaking up which made everyone take notice.
We bonded over our journey of becoming deaf as adults and we got involved with many different organizations. Our paths often crossed at meetings. Mary helped birth the Association of Late-Deafened Adults (ALDA) and I lead the West Suburban Association of the Deaf.
We ended up pregnant at the same time. I gave birth to my first; she to her third daughter. As we watched our babies playing on the floor of her house and I sat there in exhaustion, asking her how she kept it all together when I was falling apart with just one kid. She threw her head back and laughed. “There are some days I just take it minute by minute.”
When her middle child became hard of hearing, we bonded yet again; this time, we worked together to start a parent organization, Illinois Hands & Voices. She wrote the first grant which gave us funds to run our first Mom’s Night Inn. She spoke at the event, sharing her journey with straightforward candor and openness.
I always looked forward to our lunches together. She was the kind of friend I could pour out my deepest thoughts and I’d get back a perspective I hadn’t considered previously or she’d dish out some practical advice.
Last October, we met for lunch and had one of our most profound conversations about life… and the shortness of it all. “I’ve been happy, I’ve been sad, I’m ok with it all,” she said.
Mary’s way-too-short life ended yesterday at 11:30 pm. I’m sad. Actually, I’m heartbroken. I know many others are too. She touched a lot of lives.
Her smile will remain forever in my mind.
There’s a tradition at the ALDA-Con where we stand in a circle, arm-in-arm during the last song of the night.
Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
And everything I would like to be
I can fly higher than an eagle
Because you are the wind beneath my wings.
This year, there will be a gap in the circle. We will miss you, Mary. You’re the wind beneath our wings.
Wake:
Thursday Aug 30th from 4:00pm until 8:00pm
Service at 7:00pm
Dreschler, Brown and Williams Funeral Home
203 S. Marion
Oak Park, Il
