Early last year, my oldest son David, a sophomore in high school, announced that he wanted to play football.
Inwardly, I cringed. Football is not a sport that I’m fond of. At least not anymore. I used to love watching football games with the hubby years ago. For several years, I was the hubby’s sounding board as he anguished over his fantasy football draft picks and sought my input on which quarterback to add to his line up. As we added babies number two and three to the mix, I found myself deep into diaper changes and less into men crashing into each other on TV.
When the oldest was about ten, the hubby found a new recruit into his Fantasy Football line up. David began showing an interest in football after discovering his father animatedly yelling at the TV on Sundays. And Saturdays. And some Thursdays. And of course, on Monday Night Football.
Woosh. The hubby sucked in Son Number One. Son Number Two joined the hollering fest at the tender age of eight. Every week, from late summer into mid-winter, the boys collaborate with their Dad, discussing the pros and cons of putting in one defense team over another.
I didn’t mind.
But then in middle school, the oldest son asked if he could play football for his school.
I hesitated a bit. Not only did I hate the idea of him bashing into another kid under the guise of a sport– I also had to worry about the possibility of David losing the rest of his hearing due to a rare genetic condition. In my family, several of us became deaf or hard of hearing from hitting our head. My oldest sister was three when she fell, hit her head and became profoundly deaf. My brother was 36-years-old when a wooden beam fell on him at work. He woke up in the hospital two days later with a severe loss. Another sister slipped on a rug and became profoundly deaf. Both my brother and I lost hearing from barefooting (waterskiing on bare feet)–his a mild loss, mine–profound.
The hubby and I discussed the pros and cons of football and other sports and we decided not to let any of our kids hold back because of this gene. So David played football in middle school for a year. This year, he is playing for the sophomore team on both offense and defense.
My reluctance isn’t from worrying about losing any of the hearing he has left, I’m more worried about other injuries. In the first game of the year last week, one of the teammates was carried off the field. He has a concussion and temporary paralysis from being hit.
Do you think I’d be a bad mom if I bribed the kid to stick to Fantasy Football next year?
Cross-posted at the Chicago Moms Blog.
Comments
14 responses to “My Son, The Football Player”
Besides the possibility of losing hearing, which seems more likely in your family than serious injury, football seems to be a carefully regulated sport in schools.
All a mom can do is survey the probablity of injury divided by the total number of players and make a decision. Also to be considered is the future the game offers your son–e.g. teammates that become adult collaborators or even a future in the sport itself.
I wouldn’t blame you if you encouraged him to play another sport or video games instead of bashing into other kids. I have a kid that age, too.
Dianrezs last blog post..Wireless Systems Sucks
That must have been an incredibly difficult decision made by you and your husband.. That is a tough dilemma. I wouldn’t know what to do if my kid wants to play football.
But there will always be accidents. You and your family became deaf due to various accidents. One cannot always shelter children.
@Dianrez The pros far outweigh the cons in our decision. Life is meant to be lived, and I don’t want my kids holding back. 🙂
@Mishkazena
One of my sisters slipped on a rug, so we’re aware that it can happen out of the blue. I’d much rather that my kids live a full life with joy and if something happens to the rest of their hearing, they’ve had the joy that comes with it.
Great post. That is a tough one. I can see both sides either way. I certainly understand your decision. Thanks for sharing this.
Michael@ Awareness * Connections last blog post..Save the Words for the Happy Times, Part II
No, I don’t think you would be a bad mom. I would be afraid of the injury factor too. (Personally I’ve never understood football anyway, so I am biased.)
Amy Derbys last blog post..Corporate Jungle: Communication Survival Kit
These are the sorts of issues I’m glad I don’t have to think about being childless. I admire parents because you have to be willing to let your children hurt themselves (to learn) but at the same time you have to protect them from getting too hurt.
Good luck figuring it out!
Cheers,
Alex
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Practicing Flexibility to Remain Steady
Hi Karen,
I have followed your site for some time and truly enjoy it. My son Aiden was born profoundly deaf and he’s on the path to receive CIs by, hopefully, 12 mths. We also have two older hearing kids, one who is 12 and is playing football and I JUST LOVE IT! I too, get very scared about the injuries, but I never want my kids to hold back, in anything they do. I think about this though with Aiden and pray we teach him he can do anything he puts his mind to, regardless of any disability he has. I hope one day that Aiden’s out there, just like his brother, with his mom on the sideline yelling and screaming for her boy, yet cringing inside that they don’t get hurt! Good luck with this season’s games!
Tammys last blog post..A Day With Our Wonderful Audiologist
This had to be tough for you because as a Mom, you want what’s best for your kids but there’s one thing that separates you from most mothers.
You realize that it is your fear that could hold the kids back from pusuing their passions, in this case football.
That would be like my parents holding me back from becoming a pilot (they actually did, not because they were afraid I’d die in a plane crash but because of my deafness – they didn’t think I could do it). Maybe my example isn’t that good of a comparison but I think you get the gist of it.
You’re letting your kids learn and take on challenges without fear. Good for you. They will become stronger for it and be in a position to knock down obstacles becuase their mother let them learn.
Stephen Hopsons last blog post..End of the Week Gratitude Theme #44
You know, I think I struggle with this with everything my kids do. Learning to ride their bikes, flipping into the pool, jumping off the swings. With Emmi it is even worse because of her poor balance. I cringe watching her run, stumble, and fall. I keep telling myself I have to get used to this. But? I am pretty sure, as a parent, you never do. Can we just lock them in their rooms and make them sit in the center of their beds? I didn’t think so. I was just hoping….
Tricias last blog post..Nummy Donuts, Blue Socks, and Diving
Alex,
Kids sure do change a lot on life perspective. Before I had kids, I think my advice to another parent might have been, “Don’t risk it!”
Tammy,
You’ve got the spirit! No doubt Aiden will be leading a full life with your attitude. 🙂
You’re right, Stephen, I couldn’t let my own fears get in the way of my kid’s life journey. 🙂 A very hard thing to do! I remember the day that I wanted to learn how to do a pyramid on waterskis. My mom was scared as heck and begged me not to. She was so afraid that I would fall and get hurt. I went ahead and it was an amazing feeling to ride around the lake on top of a couple of guys!
Tricia,
It sure is hard to let ’em go and watch them stumble through life– wanting to make it easier for them but knowing that we shouldn’t, because it’s their journey, not ours…