Many years ago, I began writing for a website that produced product reviews and I had to come up with a personal tagline or quote to reflect something about me. Mine was simply: “Life is too short to pout all the time.” That line came to me years ago, when my kids were four- and two-years old, and my youngest had just been born.
As you can imagine, life back then with a four-year old, two-year old and a crying baby included days where the kids would pout and whine. After juggling everyone’s needs, keeping track of who was fed and who needed to be fed, refereeing two fighting toddlers, all this on top of attempting to keep the house in some semblance of order–by the end of the day, I was pouting myself. As soon as the hubby arrived home from work, I whined and unloaded on him. Then one day, after a particularly trying day with the three kids, I said to them, “Come on, guys, life is too short to pout all the time.” We took off for the kitchen and made brownies together. Soon we were all happily chomping away on warm brownies.
I learned a valuable lesson from those younger days with my kids: life is meant to be enjoyed with your family and your friends. The toys on the floor could wait to be picked up, after all, we were busy playing and learning. So what if the house was in shambles– it was more important to connect with my neighbors over a pizza while the kids played together.
There was another lesson to come. One day out of the blue, (that’s usually how it happens, doesn’t it?) my husband learned that his close friend, Tod, was dying. Diagnosed with cancer at Christmastime, he only had a few months to live. We talked about taking a dream trip somewhere together with our families, but Tod was too sick to travel. So we called up a bunch of his friends, piled them all in a van and drove down to see Tod.
We spent a magical weekend together filled with laughter as well as tears. “Remember this? Remember that?” We asked each other, as we relived memories and fun times together.
That night, the snow fell, covering the trees in a glistening white. We had a quiet moment gazing out into the backyard and seeing the moonlight bounce off the snow. Tod’s wife came up to us and simply said, “Thank you for this weekend.” We knew what she meant, because we were all feeling it: happy, sad, connected, and at peace. Just weeks later, Tod passed away. He gave us a gift: a gift of appreciating life, of appreciating family and friends, and the gift of appreciating love.
After Tod died, I reflected on what I wanted to do with my life. How did I want to be remembered when it was my own time to go? I had three deaf and hard of hearing kids that I was raising—what could I do with my knowledge, my skills and my journey? I took on projects, volunteer work and paid work that brought meaning to my life. I have to say that Tod’s death raised a lot of questions inside of me and drove me to appreciate life more. Just weeks after he passed away we made some changes in our lives and did some things that we had been putting off. We quit decorating the house and bought the used boat that we had been talking about for years. We took cheap vacations with other friends. We spent more time up in Michigan visiting my parents and the in-laws.
Of course, I still have some days when things go wrong and I’m about to tear my hair out. I had a day like that not too long ago, grumbling and venting to anyone who would listen. My daughter took one look at me and said…
“Mom, life is too short to pout about this.”
Originally published on Chicago Mom’s Blog, April 2009
Comments
4 responses to “Life is Too Short to Pout All the Time”
Love this post, Karen. Thanks.
Out of the mouths of babes! Don’t you just love it when you realize your kids grow up and give you the same advice you’ve been spoon-feeding them since they were in diapers? Great post!
I’m so glad I caught your tweet to this post, Karen! It was a good way to start my day.
There have been times when I’ve been so caught up in keeping everything “perfect,” that I think I missed out on a lot of fun. Sometimes the best plan is to just go for it, even if the world is a little messy. Because life, by its very nature, is a little messy. 🙂
Great post – thank you!
AMEN karen. well said