Ageless Passions by Karen Putz

Category: Uncategorized

  • I Won 150,000!

    There I was, sitting back and typing away at an article for Disaboom when an instant message popped up on the screen.

    Hello.

    It was a screen name that I didn’t recognize, but I’m always getting instant messages from parents of deaf and hard of hearing children or other writers.

    I typed back. Hi. Who is this please?

    Hi, this is Eric Lawrence. How are you today?

    So we exchanged chit chat. Thinking that he was possibly a parent that I couldn’t remember, I wracked my brain trying to remember who Eric Lawrence was.

    And then it came.

    We are here to congratulate you on the $150,000 you have won from the Australian Deaf Lottery!  Congrats, you are a winner!

    Oh my gosh. I couldn’t contain my excitement. One hundred and fifty grand! Whatever would I do with it? I could buy a summer home! I could buy a new boat! I could donate a large amount to Hands & Voices!

    Your screen name was was selected by our computing balotting [sic] system, he went on.

    Amused, I decided to play along a bit. I was instructed to give my name and address so that the certified check could be sent to my home. When I inquired about the website of the Australian Lottery, I was told that it was still under construction and that dear Eric would send me the link as soon as it was up.

    I told him I wasn’t convinced.

    Alright, you have a choice, he said. And the choice is that you can follow your heart but we will advice you to trust and believe in us and you will be surprised what will happen. We will get your winning check mailed out to you with immediate effect.

    No thanks, I said.

    And poof, he disappeared.

    I’ve also won $50,000, $250,000 and one million since then.

    None of the checks have come in the mail.

    Maybe it’s because I forgot to give them my address?

  • Sara Gould, Deaf Engineer

    Back in ninth grade, Sara Gould was trying to decide between becoming a musician or an engineer.   She enjoyed playing the saxophone.  She also enjoyed math and science—and envisioned someday designing roller coaster.

     Then almost overnight, Sara ended up with a sudden, severe hearing loss in both ears, most likely due to a virus.  

    “The ENT actually told my parents that I might be faking it to get attention,” Sara recalled.

    It was two months before Sara was fitted with hearing aids and went back to school.   She relied on classmates to take notes with carbon paper and she collected those at the end of every class.   “I had an FM system, but I never liked it because I had to go to the Health office to pick it up and it wasn’t good for class discussions,” said Sara.  An itinerant teacher worked with her once a week to practice lipreading skills.

    “I think I blocked most of high school out of my mind,” Sara said with a smile. 

    A major turning point was the day that her audiologist introduced her to Rochester Institute of Technology and the National Technical Institute for the Deaf in New York.  Sara went to visit the campus and immediately she knew that she wanted to attend college there.   “NTID was great, because even though I had to explain that I didn’t know sign language, I never had to explain my hearing loss to people who had never met anyone deaf,” said Sara.  “That was true of RIT too.  There was such a high level of awareness there.”

    After graduating with an Mechanical Engineering degree in 2002, Sara went to work for three different companies.  She went on to obtain her Masters degree in Systems Engineering from Stevens Institute of Technology.  Today, she works as a Project Engineer for a company that welds ship interiors.   “The engineers here mostly design and manage the projects,” Sara explained.  “I work in the testing lab, doing medium-weight shock testing of desks, furniture, lockers, etc.”

    Sara records information from shock testing to determine how much shock an item can withstand if a ship were hit by a torpedo.   Using videos and photos, Sara writes up reports on her findings.   “When I take notes from a test, I have to make sure I get everyone’s input in case I missed something they were discussing.  But being in charge of notes makes it easier for me to be assertive about getting the information I need.”

    Sara found another trick to help her obtain information during group meetings:  she would snap pictures of anything written or drawn on the board and use the photos as notes.

    “At one of my previous jobs, there were meetings all the time and I was left out of most of them,” said Sara.  “For trainings or a really big meeting, I would try and get CART (Real Time Captioning).”

    Sara also runs her own business converting slides into movies:  Slides in a Flash.  And as for that path to becoming a musician, Sara is glad that she didn’t listen to the ENT who cautioned her back in high school not to play in the band for fear of making her hearing worse.   Today, she plays saxophone along with 80 others for the Charlottesville Municipal Band.

    “The average age of everyone in my band is about 50.  They all claim to be deaf too,” she said with a chuckle.

    Update: Sara left her job to open her own business: In a Flash Engraving

  • Guest Blogger–Another Mom’s Journey

    Today’s post is from a close friend of mine, Sue Klytta. Sue and I met back in college and we’ve shared a lot together, including raising deaf and hard of hearing kids. We’ve had many conversations over the years about our kids and we’ve shook our heads at the twisting roads that we’ve gone down on together. We’ve made decisions involving our kids that we never would have imagined making at the beginning of the parenting journey. It goes to show that sometimes you’ll make difference choices at different times in your children’s lives. More than once, I’ve told Sue, “you need to share your story.”

    So Sue kindly gave me the day off and here she is as a guest blogger:

    Today, I am writing from the heart, as a deaf adult and as a mom to three children, one hard of hearing, one deaf, and one hearing child. Raising two children with a hearing loss, I often find that their journey is similar to mine growing up hard of hearing and deaf.

    Lately, there has been so much joy on my oldest son’s face. Alex’s eyes light up. He smiles and laughs more. He signs more now. It’s so different today than it was a year ago. My son is hard of hearing. Last year, he started going to the Illinois School for the Deaf. He has been mainstreamed all his school years, he has never been in a self-contained classroom. His elementary years in school were fine, interaction with other kids focused more on physical play. In middle school, he had one friend who moved away. Once he started high school in our hometown, it was a whole different ball game. He became increasingly more isolated. He made less and less eye contact. He came home every day looking more discouraged. He cried tears of frustration after coming home from school. He stayed in bed and refused to get up. Today, he says he is liked by his peers. He can’t wait to go to ISD. I talked with Alex about his experiences at ISD. He summed it up for me very well, he said “Mom, I am liked”. He talked about how much fun it was interacting with other kids and how this school was changing his outlook on life.

    My son Matthew also attends ISD. The first day I dropped him off at ISD, he looked so content. He now talks about his accomplishments with pride. His self-esteem has soared. This was a kid who previously hated to go to school. I had to drag him physically out the door and drive him to school. He said he felt invisible at his old school. He struggled to pay attention in classes and was diagnosed with ADD. I took him to a psychiatrist and therapist every two weeks. He was on medication. He suffered from poor self-esteem. No more! He loves ISD and his teachers are so positive about Matthew’s progress. I suspect that the deaf school works so well for Matthew because the environment fosters more cooperative learning and interaction. After a long talk with Matthew about his school experiences, I figured out why this new placement has made such a difference for him. At his old school, direct instruction was primarily used. Direct instruction is a type of teacher-centered learning in which the teacher is teaching a lesson and there is less interaction between students. Direct instruction is only beneficial when it is supplemented with cooperative learning methods. Group interaction is very important for learning. Matthew has told me that he feels free to interact in the classroom and he likes interacting with the other kids. He shared that he feels he is learning more. So with Matthew’s ADD, this type of learning environment has been very beneficial for him. As for the socialization issue, he is much happier. He has larger pool of friends to interact with. He is a social butterfly and this environment suits him well.

    I feel like I know what both of my sons were going through. I myself was mainstreamed in my first year of high school with no support services and was the only deaf/hard of hearing student there. I was miserable. I transferred to a high school with a deaf program my second year. I quickly made friends with other deaf/hard of hearing peers.

    Looking back, I realized that I never brought up my story in meetings with my sons’ teachers. I felt that this was about my sons, not me. But this is not just our story, it is the story repeated by many deaf and hard of hearing people.

    This experience has been recounted many times by deaf and hard of hearing people like myself who grow up never meeting another deaf/hard of hearing peer. We talk about the experience of meeting other people like ourselves as “coming home”. One deaf adult I know talks about the feeling of coming home when she started meeting deaf and hard of hearing people at college for the first time. Another deaf adult was so lonely in high school, he transferred to the school for the deaf and learned sign language for the first time.

    When I was visiting ISD, I attended the awards/graduation ceremony. I truly felt that we the deaf/hard of community were being acknowledged and honored. I felt valued. And I know both my sons feel the same when they are there. I did not feel this way when my sons were mainstreamed here in their home schools.

    I am a deaf adult, I have traveled this journey. I was once hard of hearing, able to hear on the phone at one time. I have been in self-contained classrooms, I have been mainstreamed. I have been considered a “successful” oral child, I have learned sign language. I am now learning more ASL. I feel that my experience and the experience of many other deaf/hard of people is authentic and valid and I wish more people would reach out to us. Learn from us. We need to be heard. When I was growing up, I only met one deaf adult. And I am sad to say today, things have not really changed that much at all for deaf and hard of hearing children. There is no connection to the deaf/hard of hearing community. Frequently, there is no connection between deaf/hard of hearing children mainstreamed in their home schools either. Isn’t true that as human beings, we all need that emotional connection to those like ourselves?

    While making the difficult decision to place my sons at ISD, I had moments of insight. My daughter is hearing. Everyday I would drop her off at her school. She was always so excited to go. I realized that she has a whole school full of equal peers. She would talk about the group of kids she sat with at lunch. She had friends sleep over at our house, they all would sit at the table talking and giggling. I realized then I wanted the same for my sons. And I knew my sons were not getting what my daughter got so easily every day.

    I sometimes feel on the fence between both the hearing and deaf world. Every day I accommodate, I lipread so I can understand hearing people. I talk so that they will understand me. My son Matthew got the cochlear implant because he wanted to hear. I am considering one for myself as well. I also have a daughter, Katie, who is hearing. The hearing world is a huge part of her life and I honor that. She has a “second family” down the street. They are hearing and yes, they are part of her life. Hearing parents also need to give their deaf/hard of hearing children the opportunity to experience the deaf/hard of hearing world.

    At the same time, I have respect for the deaf community as well. I am learning to be more proficient in ASL because my son Matthew is using it more now. I talk about deaf role models with my kids. My daughter is learning to sign more and more now with me.

    When my sons grow up, I know in my heart they will not always be listened to and heard. I grieve that, because I know their experience will be the same as mine. Yes, it is a world where the majority can hear. Yet, they have so much to give and so much to teach others. It is my hope that other deaf/hard of hearing children will experience “coming home” with their peers. It is also my hope that when they grow up to become deaf/hard of hearing adults, they will have a “voice” and that they will be heard. And that they will be valued.

  • In a Funk? Grab Some Friends

    I had been in a funk for the last two weeks. A gawd-awful funk. Last week, I whined about writer’s block over on Twitter. At a family gathering recently, even a relative mentioned how boring my recent posts had become. My reaction was simply to shrug.

    The house had been slipping over the summer. I couldn’t remember the last time I mopped the floor. (Mom, cover your eyes.) In the last two weeks, I struggled to maintain some sense of order as the kids went back to school. I woke up each morning with a horrible attitude of, who cares? Friends didn’t really know, or notice, because they assumed that I was busy at the desk, hammering away at blog posts and articles.

    The only time I found some joy was barreling down the lake at full throttle on the jet ski. Speed, glorious speed took the edge off and set my heart beating with excitement. Ah yes, the jet ski– the midlife solution to a crisis.

    I sent out an email to my BookHands club. How’s everyone doing, I wondered. Anything to start up some conversation– to connect during a time when I wasn’t really connecting with anyone. One by one, they chimed in with updates. I didn’t realize it, but my replies didn’t really reveal anything that was going on with me. The funk had me too buried to notice. One of the BookHands gals dragged it right out of me. “Karen, I don’t know if u’re aware of this. But lately in most of your emails you pepper people with questions, but don’t volunteer any information about yourself or day to day experiences. We sincerely care about you and want to know what u’re up to.”

    So I unloaded. ” I’ve been in a gawd-awful funk for the last two weeks. It isn’t depression, it’s what I call ‘in the rut’ feeling. Seth Godin calls it ‘The Dip.’ I call it a “I don’t give a rotten crap” feeling. It’s where you let everything go and then feel overwhelmed and have no idea what to tackle and at the same time, you don’t care about tackling anything. Ack.”

    And as it turned out, others were struggling too. The Life Plateau. Emails shot back and forth. Suggestions. Tips. Support.

    And I began to feel better. Things began to shift and change.

    I woke up and recited five things that I was grateful for. I started the day with some light yoga. One of the BookHands gals chided me for not having some heart pumping exercise in my routine. So this week, that’s on my agenda.

    Other things happened– I reconnected with the Loopies– a group of online friends that began eight years ago. We met through AOL’s Home VS Hospital Birth Forum. Some of them are grandmas now. It was a wonderful blast through the past to reconnect and see how everyone is doing. It made me aware that time is marching on–much faster than I’d like it to.

    There’s a lesson here– for all of us to reach out to one another, most especially during the low times when we feel most alone.

    After all, that’s what friends are for.

  • Deaf or Hard of Hearing–When to Tell A Potential Employer

    When hunting for a job, do you indicate that you are deaf or hard of hearing on your resume or the job application?

    The Wall Street Journal tackled the topic in their article, Finding the Right Way to Disclose a Disability:

    Disclosing a disability is a personal decision but can be beneficial if done right. Only you can decide whether — and when — to tell your new employer about your disability. Disclosing a condition can help protect your legal rights but can also leave you open to discrimination. Still, experts say you’re better off giving management a heads-up.

    Among my deaf and hard of hearing friends, there seems to be a lot of divide on the issue of whether or not to disclose a disability when applying for a job.  “Don’t give the Human Resources department an excuse to dump your resume in the reject pile,” says Lenny Kepil, who works for Tellabs.  When Lenny was laid off from his job at Lucent Technologies a few years ago, it took him several thousand resumes and a few interviews later to land a job back in the same field. 

    Karina Chupina explains the “catch 22” that comes with job hunting in her article, A Look at Education and Employment in Germany:

    Getting a job nearly always poses a plaguing dilemma for the deaf and hard of hearing: whether they should disclose their disability or not when sending their CV or resume to a potential employer. The controversy centers about the fact that the employer cannot reject an applicant on the basis of disability, but practice shows that applicants who have identified themselves as hard of hearing or deaf persons often are rejected. It remains unclear whether there was a biased attitude towards the hearing disability on behalf of the employer, or lack of the requisite skills.

    Howard Rosenblum, a deaf attorney in Chicago, states that the issue is a complicated one.  “It depends on the job that the deaf or hard of hearing applicant is applying for,” he explains.  “If it is a state or federal job, it is often a good idea to disclose a disability because those employers often look for diversity.”

    Howard urges more caution when applying for jobs in the private sector.  “All too often, private companies seem to have this fear of hiring people with disabilities.  Sometimes, when people with disabilities disclose their disabilities on a resume, they do not even get interviews at all.  When they take it off, they may get interviews, but many times they are not hired or called back for second interviews.”

    For deaf or hard of hearing applicants who use interpreters, they face the difficult decision of whether or not to request accommodations for the interview process.  Requesting an interpreter for an interview puts the deaf or hard of hearing person at a disadvantage, because companies can balk at the idea of having to pay for an accommodation during the hiring process.  “I often tell deaf people who want jobs to bring their own interpreter during the hiring process,” says Howard.  “Even though the company is supposed to pay for interpreters by law, bringing your own increases the chances of being hired.”

    Neil McDevitt, a deaf firefighter and Program Director at TDI, suggests putting the information about being deaf or hard of hearing in the cover letter.  “The cover letter gives you a chance to put your best foot forward, so to speak,” he explains.  “If you make it clear that the fact that you’re deaf or hard of hearing has no bearing on your ability to do the job, it will take the doubt out of the employer’s mind.  I’m also of the opinion that a place that makes a fuss about a person being deaf isn’t a place worth wasting your time at in the first place.”

    I personally have done it both ways: cover letters that address being deaf and cover letters that only focus on my skills with no hint of being deaf.   I’ve put down relay numbers and I’ve also put down a friend’s number (they’d take a message and I would call back via relay, using my voice).  I know that there were probably some jobs where my resume never stood a chance due to disclosure but I’ll never know for sure.

    In this day and age, here’s something else to consider– employers are increasingly using web searches to find out information about a potential hire.  Chances are, employers are going to quickly learn information disclosed on the internet, including any mention of a disability. 

    The whole debate of whether or not to include a disability in the job seeking process is a moot point if we don’t have employers who are willing to consider the abilities, not the disabilities of potential hires.

  • Wordless Wednesday–Leap!

    Don't be afraid--leap!
    Don’t be afraid–leap!

    This is a shot of my cousin’s kiddo jumping out of the pontoon on Christie Lake. See more at Wordless Wednesday.

  • My Son, The Football Player


    Early last year, my oldest son David, a sophomore in high school, announced that he wanted to play football.

    Inwardly, I cringed. Football is not a sport that I’m fond of. At least not anymore. I used to love watching football games with the hubby years ago. For several years, I was the hubby’s sounding board as he anguished over his fantasy football draft picks and sought my input on which quarterback to add to his line up. As we added babies number two and three to the mix, I found myself deep into diaper changes and less into men crashing into each other on TV.

    When the oldest was about ten, the hubby found a new recruit into his Fantasy Football line up. David began showing an interest in football after discovering his father animatedly yelling at the TV on Sundays. And Saturdays. And some Thursdays. And of course, on Monday Night Football.

    Woosh. The hubby sucked in Son Number One. Son Number Two joined the hollering fest at the tender age of eight. Every week, from late summer into mid-winter, the boys collaborate with their Dad, discussing the pros and cons of putting in one defense team over another.

    I didn’t mind.

    But then in middle school, the oldest son asked if he could play football for his school.

    I hesitated a bit. Not only did I hate the idea of him bashing into another kid under the guise of a sport– I also had to worry about the possibility of David losing the rest of his hearing due to a rare genetic condition. In my family, several of us became deaf or hard of hearing from hitting our head. My oldest sister was three when she fell, hit her head and became profoundly deaf. My brother was 36-years-old when a wooden beam fell on him at work. He woke up in the hospital two days later with a severe loss. Another sister slipped on a rug and became profoundly deaf. Both my brother and I lost hearing from barefooting (waterskiing on bare feet)–his a mild loss, mine–profound.

    The hubby and I discussed the pros and cons of football and other sports and we decided not to let any of our kids hold back because of this gene. So David played football in middle school for a year. This year, he is playing for the sophomore team on both offense and defense.

    My reluctance isn’t from worrying about losing any of the hearing he has left, I’m more worried about other injuries. In the first game of the year last week, one of the teammates was carried off the field. He has a concussion and temporary paralysis from being hit.

    Do you think I’d be a bad mom if I bribed the kid to stick to Fantasy Football next year?

    Cross-posted at the Chicago Moms Blog.

  • I Want to Live–Captioned Version

    Dear Bill Creswell:

    Thank you.  Thank you.  And thank you, again.

    Back in June, I wrote a post over at Disaboom about how frustrated I was to navigate through You Tube videos without captions.  I shared one of my favorite songs and posted the lyrics in the blog. 

    Along came Bill Creswell.  He left a comment:

    “Don’t forget, I take requests at billcreswell.wordpress.com.  “My tagline is captioning the internet one video at a time” 🙂  I have this one in my  “queue”.

    Time went by and the two of us became busy.  Yesterday, I found a wonderful post over at Bill’s blog– news that You Tube was enabling a captioning feature for users to add captions to their videos:

    You Tube Adds Captioning Feature

    So I left a comment and asked Bill about the John Denver feature and wondered if it was captioned.

    Bill delivered. 

    And so today, I want to share one of my favorite songs with my readers.  It is a John Denver song called, “I Want to Live.” Captioned.

    add your captions on TubeCaption.com

    http://www.tubecaption.com/watch?v=iuB3_HLcFfk&vcId=473

    Thank you, thank you, Bill for all the work you do. It is very much appreciated. May you have a wonderful weekend!

  • Dave Freeman–A Man Halfway to His Goal

    Dave Freeman.

    Does the name ring a bell?

    It didn’t for me.  But yesterday, while reading the Chicago Tribune before dinner, I saw an article titled “Author of Quirky ‘100 Things’ Guide.”

    Dave Freeman co-authored the book, 100 Things to Do Before You Die with Neil Teplica.  In the book, the two of them listed exciting travel events; and together, they had done about half of them. 

    But yesterday, I wasn’t just reading an article– I was reading his obituary.  Dave had slipped and hit his head on a glass ledge in his home.  He was only 47 years old.

    The New York Daily News reported that Freeman “really did live a full life.”

    Freeman had run with the bulls in Spain. He’d hung his boots in an ice hotel in Finland. He stood beside the 400 stainless steel poles that make up the Lightning Field in New Mexico. And he made sure not to miss India‘s Maha Kumbh Mela in 2001, a Hindu pilgrimage that happens only once every 12 years.

    Considering that the book was written in 1999 and that Freeman completed half of the 100 things– I would say that he did indeed, lead a pretty full life.

    US Magazine has a quote shared by Freeman’s father:

    According to his father, Freeman was famous for saying, “‘We’re going to the future. Do you want to come along?’ It always made everybody laugh.”

    How about you?  Are you going to the future?

  • Vote for the New Southwest Airlines Blogger!

    Colleen Wainwright should be Southwest Airline’s official blogger.

    First, let me make it clear that Colleen has not handed over money for me to say this.  However, when she flies into Chicago after becoming the official Southwest Airlines Blogger, I expect that she’s going to take me out for a nice, thick steak at Morton’s Steakhouse. 

    So go view the video and vote.  Colleen has included a transcript for the deaf and hard of hearing viewers:

    COLLEEN: I’m Colleen Wainwright and I’ve got friends all over the country!

    JACK LYONS: I’m from Baltimore and I want to meet Colleen!

    CHRIS ERENETA: I live in Oakland and I want to meet Colleen!

    COLLEEN: That’s right: Internet friends! And they wanna meet me!

    ANGIE & FRIENDS: We want to meet Colleen!

    COLLEEN: That’s why I should be the new Southwest Airlines Blog-O-Spondent.

    (UKULELE MUSIC BEGINS UNDER)

    DAVID ECKOFF: Hey, send Colleen to Atlanta!

    SCOT DUKE: Send Colleen to Dallas!

    JON DEAL: I have been stalking Colleen for years now.

    COLLEEN: Think about it: all those nerds, blogging all about
    Southwest, to all those potential customers?

    PAM SLIM: Fly Colleen to Phoenix.

    MIGNON FOGARTY: Send Colleen to Reno!

    @EffingBoring: Please send Colleen to New York.

    COLLEEN: It’s a PR bonanza!!!!

    PETER SHANKMAN: I run HARO, for God’s sake.

    COLLEEN: 1200 people on Twitter alone. And I got a boyfriend who plays
    the ukelele!

    (CUT TO SHOT OF THE BF PLAYING UKULELE)

    COLLEEN(VO): (OVER SHOTS OF KAREN PUTZ, LAURA MONCUR, A COFFEE MUG)
    Look at all these fine people! Do you want to disappoint them?

    COLLEEN: I mean, come on, it’s like I was born to do this job.

    PETER: Everyone will be happier. I think you should do it.

    CHRIS points to Oakland on his shirt.

    COLLEEN: Come on! Give an old broad a job!

    As you can see from the video, Colleen is perky, peppy, and talented.  Not bad for an old broad.  But Colleen isn’t really an old broad, except when you compare her to young, peppy, skydiving people like Peter Shankman.  And by the way, the HARO owner is in the video and has put his stamp of approval on Colleen’s vote.

    But please, fast forward past the part where you find me asking Southwest Airlines to fly Colleen to Chicago.  Because you see, I don’t like to be on camera.  But because I like Southwest Airlines (seriously, that is one airline that really rocks!) and I really dig Colleen and her snarky writing style, I agreed to put myself on camera.  All because I want all of the Southwest Airline customers to be entertained when Colleen becomes their Official Blogger. 

    So come on people, go vote for Colleen!