Category: Uncategorized

  • Missin Dad, One Year Later

    Hard to believe that a whole year flew by. Today was a great day, bittersweet with memories. I woke up to a beautiful sunrise:

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    In one of the last few conversations with Dad I told him to send me some glass calm water. On the day he passed away and the day of his funeral, the water on Christie Lake remained calm all day long. And this week, The water was rough all week long. But today, it was calm all day long.

    Later in the morning, a red-winged blackbird landed on the bird feeder:

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    We ended the day with a trip to the cemetery and each of us shared a favorite memory. We had some good laughs as we recalled our stories. My own favorite memory was of the one and only time that my Dad waterskied around the lake. My kids were surprised, as that was something they never knew about their grandpa.

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  • Operation Precious CARgo

    I was bummed to miss the baby shower for Operation Precious #CARgo last night, but I had a lot of fun gathering the baby stuff for expectant military moms in the Chicago area. Chevy supplied me with a cool Sonic, a compact car that was great on gas.

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    Donations came in from all over. My mom and two sisters bought a sleeper, toys, and stuffed animals. Various friends tossed in diapers, wipes and other items.

    Debbie from Geneva crocheted owl hats:

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    Tasha from Plainfield crocheted baby photo props (think Anne Geddes):

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    Jeanne from Romeoville sewed baby blankets and donated a sleeper too:

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    More blankets and baby items from the girls from ICODA:

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    This was such a fun project! Thanks to all who contributed– you made a difference for expectant military moms!

  • The 2012 EHDI Conference and Henry Kisor

    Last week, I drove down to St. Louis to join the Hands & Voices gang at the EHDI Conference.  It had been several years since I attended an EHDI conference and because I work in early intervention as a Deaf Mentor, I have a heart for this topic.  I’m one of three mentors in Illinois and one of the first trained groups.  The first child I worked with is now thirteen.

    When I attended my first EHDI conference in it’s infancy, I was only one of a few Deaf and Hard of Hearing participants at that time.  At this conference, wow! Everywhere I went, I met up with old and new friends.  The conference has truly grown from the early days and the grand ballroom held around 1,000 people for Hands & Voices board member Christine Yoshinaga-Itano’s keynote opening presentation.

    At Hands & Voices, one of our most requested presentations is Supporting Families Without Bias.  We put together a Part II of this presentation that goes even deeper into the topic.  When I first founded the Illinois Hands & Voices chapter back in 2003, I was often thrown in to “this camp” or “that camp” based on how I communicated or how low the lines were on my audiogram.  Eventually, more and more people embraced the spirit of Hands & Voices and began to understand my passion for our mission, “What works for your child is what makes the choice right.”  What I’m most grateful for during my years with Hands & Voices is that I’ve met so many wonderful families from a variety of backgrounds and experiences.  My kids have grown up with kids who cue/speak/sign/combine/whatever works  and they’ve made some lifelong friends.

    At the EHDI conference, I had the pleasure of sitting down to lunch with Henry Kisor and his wife, Debby.  Henry and I met  several years back when he was working at the Chicago Sun-Times as a book editor.    I first discovered Henry when I read his memoir, What’s That Pig Outdoors  and I enjoyed his frank outlook on life. I interviewed him for the Hands & Voices Communicator:  Henry Kisor, Mystery Author Unveiled.  I like to hang around Henry because he tells me nice stuff like, “You’re a natural writer.”  I would have lunch with him every week if I could.

    During the last night of the conference, Hands & Voices hosted a dinner for everyone involved in state chapters.  When I first joined the board of Hands & Voices, there were just four chapters.  We sat around a table and pondered simply how we could share our mission with others.  Today, we have expanded worldwide and nearly every state has a chapter.

    Back at my first EHDI meeting, we all fit around a single table during our Hands & Voices dinner.  At our dinner last week, we had 75 of  us seated around several tables.  As I worked my way around the room taking pictures and meeting new people, I took a few minutes to talk to a two-and-half year old boy sitting at a table with his father.  The father and I talked about how his family became involved with Hands & Voices.   The little one and I talked about the noodles he was devouring on his plate.

    And that’s what keeps me going year after year– the little ones.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Greg Pereira, Delivery Driver

    Tell me about your job, career or calling. How did you get into this line of work?

    First of all, I work two jobs. I serve both the hearing and deaf population. I am currently a full-time delivery driver for Markwell in Miami, Florida. I drive a van from the offices in Opa-Locka as far south as Homestead and as far north as West Palm Beach. This covers roughly around a 100 mile range. I deliver cases of staples, nails, stretch film, and other supplies to warehouses in the area that are involved in woodworking, upholstery, bedmaking, furniture, flower farming, and lobster trapping. Markwell is an industrial tool and packaging distribution company that is family-owned. Yes, my family owns the company. My brother is a part-owner as well as my father and I came aboard about three months after my brother bought the company. Think I got the job because my brother is the owner? Think again–I had to earn this opportunity. I come from a hardworking family of businessmen–my brother was a longtime Verizon executive who rose through the ranks from his outstanding sales work. He earned every bit of his promotions, so when I went to work for him I had to earn the job. After some time in a trial basis, I became an employee of the company (not an owner) and I earned it because I worked hard and did what I was asked to do. It took some time to find a role, but it has been solidified by the fact that I have a safe driving record and I love to drive, so deliveries have worked out for me. I also do projects on the side. Another reason that I earned this job is that sales have been in record numbers since I started delivering for the company, mainly because of my willingness to drive anywhere.

    My second job is with ZVRS as a Z Associate. My job is very simple, I just install the wonderful Z phones we have and I do some sales work as well. I also enjoy working with customers and meeting with new people. I worked for 6-7 years in human services (working in group homes and private academies) and I decided I wanted to change my career and have always been interested in working in the videophone business. I work with great people and the job is a lot of fun!

    What is the best part of your job, career calling?

    The best part is I get to work the front lines with both jobs and talk directly to the customers. I get to listen to a lot of feedback and generally the customers are very nice and we exchange questions and answers, for the purpose of growing a good working relationship. Another great part is I get to explore parts of places I have never visited since I am on the road often. For instance, I did not know South Florida had a lot of farmland. Tourists don’t generally associate South Florida with farms, but there are a lot–and areas west of Homestead have flower farms where the supplies I deliver ensure the survival of the plants that are growing there. The best part is that the farms have been thriving since Hurricane Andrew hit back in 1992. Andrew destroyed Homestead with 200 mph wind gusts that took about several hours, but it left a lot of rain in the area which strengthened the soil and allowed the crops to flourish. One of those things in South Florida if you are a longtime resident like I am, to think about how something so powerful can eventually help in the long run. Another part of the job that stands out for me is my co-workers. In Miami, there are many people that are living there for a long time and do not speak English. The warehouse guys I work with do not speak English well but we work well together because we found ways to communicate through gestures and a lot of patience. I learned Spanish while living in Colombia back in the 1990s and I was able to communicate in Spanish with them even though I am not fluent.

    What are some of the challenges?

    To know me is to REALLY know me. I speak so well that hearing people assume I can hear out of the left ear which is completely deaf. I’ve had hearing people come to me and start whispering in my ear for no reason. I say, “This is my bad ear.” They go around to the other side and start whispering into my hearing aid. “Nope, this is also my bad ear.” They get puzzled then I tell them not to worry, I can lipread and I can read Spanish well. I do get feedback from other customers who compliment me on my ability to speak so well. I also am told they are surprised I can drive a van. I often say, “I don’t need my ears to drive..all I need are my eyes that tell me what my hands should do with the steering wheel.” Another challenge is the language barrier. In Miami, there is a large influx of immigrants that mainly speak Spanish but also speak French Creole (those from Haiti) and my hearing customers often do not speak English. However they understand the routine I do for deliveries but sometimes they do not have much patience trying to communicate with me. The best approach that works for me is to just be patient with them myself and show them what I am trying to say to them so this way communication is smooth. Patience is also a virtue when it comes to doing home visits with customers who have a hard time understanding instructions. I myself am not 100 percent ASL. I use a mix when signing to customers and generally they understand me well. The best way is to show customers what to do–I have found they learn much faster this way. On the other hand, I was the same way growing up, I learned better when people showed me what to do as opposed to receiving verbal instructions.

    What was it like growing up Deaf/Hard of Hearing?

    I am the oldest of all the Pereira cousins, brothers, sisters. Being deaf was a full time job and it still is. I lost my hearing at 4 years old. Why, I do not know. I do not remember myself hearing. But I wear a hearing aid on my right ear. Have been this way since I was a little boy. As was the case in the 1970s, 1980s growing up there was no captioning on TV but I liked sports, action movies, and cartoons. But when television wasn’t around, I turned to books. As I did not learn to sign until I was 12, I learned to speak first and I found I could not follow family conversations so I turned to books to keep myself occupied. My grandparents had a library row full of Dr. Seuss books and those were the first books I could read. Reading then became a passion that took up a lot of my time growing up. I also lived out of the country for a long period of time at different times. I lived in Mexico during the late 1970s and in 1988 I moved to Colombia. Colombia was where I had to learn on my own, to grow up quickly. I did not have a choice. In Colombia, the high school kids I went to school with were neat dressers and looked up to their parents as role models and were very mature and polite people. Down there it was also a wide gap between the rich and the poor, and Colombians took their studies seriously. Family values were the same generation after generation. The more things changed, the more things stayed the same. I picked up Spanish quickly simply by reading, however verbal communication was difficult. On the other hand, I went to the American school and all the friends I made treated me with a lot of respect and I wasn’t the “deaf guy” in school, I was one of the guys. There was no bullying. I wore uniforms every day. On the other hand, Colombia was going through the worst period of violence in their history and I had to be extremely careful about what to say to people there, this is still a trait I follow today when talking to people, I often think of what to say before I say it. I was an American living in Colombia and it was a dangerous time, but I enjoyed my experience growing up. I fell in love with soccer and I adapted living there. Going to school there was wonderful, but I did not have sign language interpreters. Believe it or not, I did not need interpreters as I chose to adapt to having notetakers and I studied every night.

    What advice would you give a Deaf/Hard of Hearing person who is looking for a job, career, or calling like yours?

    One of the things you must understand is that when you look for work, employers are looking for somebody who has the intangibles. Experience is one thing. The other thing is showing them you have those intangibles. What do I mean by intangibles? Intangibles are this: having a neat appearance, having a positive attitude, having a clean record (driving, criminal, etc). The other thing is you have some skills that make you talented–things that people just don’t teach. The other and most important thing is discipline. Discipline is taking the same approach to work every day with positive results. Do not be discouraged if you get turned down for a job, there are others that are waiting to be filled. I cringe sometimes when deaf/HH people think they have been turned down due to their deafness and sometimes dwell on this. People, regardless of who and what they are, get turned down at times. The best thing is to move on and keep looking and finding that job for you. Yes, a job is hard to find with the economy being in a slump, but the important thing is never to give up and keep on looking as hard as you can. Even if you find something that pays less than your previous job, take it! You will always find that you can work your way up and be back to the level you were before, even if it takes some time to get there. The job you have may not be the calling you expect it to be, but sometimes the calling comes in unexpected places. Since I work as a driver, I had to have a clean driving record. Driving takes an enormous amount of discipline. It’s not as easy as it looks. I have been doing this since I got my license at 21. Miami is known for having lots of careless and aggressive drivers, so I have to be able to concentrate 100 percent of the time I am on the road. Trust is also very, very important. Be honest. This is a virtue you MUST have. Employers can turn down anyone they feel they are not going to trust. It used to be they could hire anyone and train them on the spot but this is not happening anymore. Times have changed where there are more stringent requirements a job seeker has to go through. The most important thing is to be patient and have a positive attitude, and be honest with yourself.

  • Turning a Bold Vision Into Reality

    During a lunch break at the International Center for Deafness and the Arts, I was talking to one of the teen cast members and asking her about her dreams.  “I want to be like Marlee Matlin,” she said. “I love her on the show, Switched at Birth.”

    The teen went back on to the stage to rehearse for Nunsense.  As I was sitting in the lounge, my eyes caught an essay written by a very young Marlee Matlin.  It was posted on the wall next to several pictures of Marlee during her time at ICODA.  Marlee began her acting career as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.  Her original costume was now enshrined on the wall.

    “If I Was A Movie Star,” Marlee titled her essay.  Here is the rest:

    If I was a movie star, I would ride in a limousine.

    When I go out of the limousine, I would give everyone my best autograph and I would let people take my picture! OOhh, when I am on the stage, I would give everyone my best smile! 🙂

    I would have a huge house which would have mirrors all over.  I would love when people would write me letters.  I would love to send them back but it’s hard to write to all the people.

    I would love to meet all movie stars!  They are so nice!!

    I want to make movies all my life.

    Here’s my autograph:

    Signed: Marlee Matlin

    I sat and marveled at the letter. Young Marlee Matlin had manifested every single thing written in that essay.  Every. Single. Thing.  And more.  Her bold vision had morphed into reality.  Nine years before her Oscar moment, Henry Winkler told her to follow her heart and not let any barriers stop her from achieving her dreams.

    She was the youngest person to ever win the Academy Award at age 21.  Many people wrote her off as a one-time-wonder.  But Marlee held fast to the dreams that she envisioned.  And today, she has four Emmys sitting on a shelf in her beautiful home (I’m sure there are mirrors on the walls) and she’s emerged from a limousine over and over.

    Perhaps anyone reading Marlee’s essay back then might have thought it was an impossible goal.  An impossible dream.  Randy Gage, in his post, Goals That Work, says:

    So if you have a bold vision, the bold goal will seem believable to you.  If you don’t, it won’t.  It’s just that simple.  So as to whether you achieve a goal you don’t really believe – I don’t think so.  Once in a while circumstances will conspire to drag you over the finish line.  But almost all the time, you need a strong belief in a goal to have a real chance of achieving it.

     

    What about you? Do you have a bold vision you want to turn into reality?

  • Tina Childress, Educational Audiologist

    Tell me about your job/career/calling. How did you get into this line of work?

    I am an audiologist with my specialty being educational audiology. I work in the mainstream and residential school settings supporting students, their families and staff. This involves duties such as diagnostic hearing evaluations, working with hearing aids/cochlear implants/assistive technology, participating in IEP meetings, providing informational workshops on how to work with students with hearing loss and being a resource to families.

    I got into this field by accident…I actually first went to college to become a computer engineer (hence, my love for all things gadgety) but didn’t feel it would be a good fit. I decided to take an elective that had nothing to do with engineering and it ended up being Sign Language. That class got me into the Speech and Hearing Science Building and introduced me to the world of Audiology. I loved the incorporation of my sign language skills, my passion for helping others, the science of hearing and use of technology into one career. Little did I know how ironic it would be that I would become an audiologist…

    What is the best part of your job, career, calling?

    Paying it forward! With my personal experiences as an audiologist who was late-deafened and is now a bilateral cochlear implant recipient, I have gone through various degrees of hearing loss, used hearing aids then cochlear implants, and have gone through the stages of grieving my hearing self. I feel like I can reach out to students and families and give them a glimpse of what’s POSSIBLE, not impossible. I have a passion for teaching, too, and am addicted to providing perhaps complex and technical information in an easy-to-understand and practical format whether that be in the form of a workshop, blog post or sharing my favorite links on the Internet.

    What are some of the challenges?

    Meetings with lots of people and listening in noisy situations are always hard situations. I compensate by either using effective communication strategies (e.g., going to a quiet place), using assistive technology or using sign language.

    I also get frustrated with lack of appropriate access to such places as a classroom, the workplace, captioning on the Internet, live theater or movies. It also peeves me when people think that one cookie-cutter solution is the right thing for ALL people with hearing loss.

    What was it like becoming deaf?

    Becoming deaf was like being on a roller coaster. Because my loss was rapidly progressive (I lost all of my hearing over a course of nine months), I never knew if I would wake up to a “good” hearing day or a “bad” one. After a while, they were all “bad”. Along the way, I have been surrounded by amazing people, like my co-workers and my family, who have taken my communication needs into account and make sure that I have access. My then-boyfriend-now-hubby took that first sign language class with me and we’ve been signing ever since! He was, and continues to be, my ears in a variety of situations.

    When I reached completely profound hearing loss, I realized that all of my communication depended on visual information – lipreading, sign language, text, etc. It was at that point that I decided to get my first cochlear implant…I didn’t want to miss anything! I decided to become a bilateral recipient five years later. I do very well with my cochlear implants and it’s always a testimony to the technology when someone sees me talking on my cellphone and then comes up to me later and says, “What?!? You’re DEAF?!? I never would have known!” Granted, I still have days when I need to get my CI program tweaked or I struggle in very noisy environments, but for the most part, I appreciate being able to navigate between the deaf/Deaf and hearing worlds. My motto is “It doesn’t matter HOW you communicate, just THAT you communicate!”

    I’ve also come to the realization that my identity is not merely dictated by my audiogram – it’s situational. When I am sitting at a restaurant with my Deaf friends, signing in ASL with voice off…I am Deaf. In the mornings as I’m blow drying my hair and my five-year old is trying to tell me something and my cochlear implants aren’t on yet…I am deaf. When I’m at a meeting and three people are talking at the same time and I’m trying to follow the conversation…I am hard of hearing. As I talk with my mom on my cellphone about my upcoming visit…I am hearing. I am not one of these identities (Deaf, deaf, hard of hearing, hearing). I am all of them.

    What advice would you give a deaf/HH person who is looking for a job, career or calling like yours?

    Being an audiologist with hearing loss means that you will have a unique empathy for working with your patients. You have walked in their shoes! Be careful though as you talk to patients that it remains about THEM and not about YOU. You can definitely use your experiences in counseling but remember that each person has their own unique needs and abilities and what may have worked for you, may not work for someone else. They will appreciate your insight and goes a long way for establishing rapport.

    Technology is your friend! Take advantage of things like FM systems in the booth or using interpreters or CART, as needed. Depending on your hearing ability, there may be some tasks that are difficult for you, like speech perception testing, but don’t be afraid to exhaust all possible ways of getting access.

    Be a good example as an advocate! This may mean making sure your professors understand your listening needs or handing an FM transmitter to a presenter at a professional conference or asking someone to repeat something that you did not hear.

    Explore the many facets to audiology. It’s not just about being in a booth all day – perhaps you want to do research, or focus on hearing conservation, or do aural rehabilitation.

    There are others that have already paved the way! There are facebook groups for the Association of Medical Professionals with Hearing Loss (https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/amphl/) and the Association of Audiologists with Hearing Loss (https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/114874958541349/). Feel free to ask questions about things like choosing a program, getting through school and what accommodations are successful in various settings.

  • Mom’s Night Inn, A Weekend of Connecting

    mom's night inn group picture

    When Andrea Marwah asked me to speak at the Illinois Hands & Voices Mom’s Night Inn this year, I happily agreed.  The Mom’s Night Inn weekend was like coming home all over again.  When I founded the non-profit organization back in 2003, we launched the annual Mom’s Night Inn, modeled after a similar retreat at Colorado Hands & Voices. Every year, the retreat continues to be a weekend of connection among the moms of deaf and hard of hearing children.  Andrea Marwah, the current president, has expanded the Mom’s Night Inn in central Illinois as well. There is still time to register for that: Mom’s Night Inn Central.

    mom's night inn group in circle

    This year’s theme was “Celebrating Their Gifts, Unleashing Your Child’s Potential” and the title of my presentation.  I shared my own journey of growing up hard of hearing, becoming deaf, and discovering the gifts that resulted from a paradigm shift in my perceptions.  I read an excerpt from Lee Woodruff’s book, “Perfectly Imperfect,” where she describes her deaf daughter as one with a different ability.  If you have not read her book, grab it.  Lee is an amazing writer and her book will grip your heart.  She has a new one coming out in September, 2012.

    Massages, crafts, discussions and chocolate, those are some of things the moms get to experience during the retreat.  Woven into those moments are the connections– the experience of sharing your personal journey with another mom.  It doesn’t matter where you are on the journey, or the choices you’ve made or the choices you are exploring– there’s the common bond of raising deaf and hard of hearing kids.  It’s a wonderful feeling to share the journey together.

    don't try so hard to fit in because you were born to stand out

    On Sunday, we had a panel of deaf and hard of hearing kids, from elementary to college age.  Ben Lachman also sat on the panel and shared his experience as a young adult and businessman.  Their experiences were as unique as their fingerprints.  As I sat there and watched each person share a glimpse of their journey, I’m reminded once again why so many of us across the Hands & Voices world volunteer our time with families: because every kid counts.

     

  • Being Ourselves: The Power of Vulnerability

    I woke up this morning tossing and turning.  On most mornings, I meditate and I do my “Grateful Prayer” to get me in the right frame of mind for each day.  But this morning, my mind fought me. I couldn’t shut out the negative bombardment that was popping up left and right. Things have been “off kilter” for me lately.  You know how a spinning top slows down and begins to wobble?  That’s me.

    So with a sigh, I got out of my warm bed and went downstairs to work on a presentation for Mom’s Night Inn.  But I checked into Facebook first.  And there, two of my favorite “Whole Hearted” friends, had posted a TED talk by Brene’ Brown.  I love TED talks, but I know they’re long and deep and I had a presentation that I needed to kick some butt on.  But when two of my “spiritually centered” friends post something, I listen up.

    And I’m glad I did.  Brene’ Brown is a researcher from Texas. I had actually been following her on Twitter for a while now but didn’t realize it.  Her TED talk is about vulnerability–the more we show the authentic, real, messy sides of us, the more we connect with others.  The more we take that plunge into courage and embrace the imperfections, the more we experience life and ourselves on a deeper level.

    “Believe that we’re enough. Because when we work from a place that says, ‘I’m enough,’ then we stop screaming and start listening.  We’re kinder and gentler to the people around us. And we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”

    Brene’, you could be my therapist any day!

    Well worth the watch:

  • The Badass Conference with Captions

    Have you seen the line up for the Badass Conference?

    Jon Morrow

    Tommy Walker

    Seth Godin

    Jonathan Fields

    Julien Smith

    Brian Clark
    And that’s just some of the folks who will be speaking at the Badass Conference on Thursday, January 26 and Friday, January 27 from 1 to 4 p.m. EST.  Everyone is donating their time and services, including SpeechText Access, a brand new company that is providing captioned access for the conference. Bill Graham, founder of ALDA, put this access together.  SpeechText Access is a company that trains people with disabilities and veterans to provide captioned access. Now keep in mind, the captioners are all new to this process and they’re donating their time, so we expect some blips along the way.    But it’s a start, and they’re blazing a new path in webinar access.

    Here are the conference details and to sign up: The one and only Badass Conference

    Now how about you. Are you badass?

    badass (bad · ass) n., pl -es 1. Someone who lives life free of any excuses they could make, no matter how legitimate those excuses may appear to be. 2. A person who doesn’t say “I can’t” even if everyone else is saying it. 3. A person who defines him- or herself by accomplishments, not limitations. 4. A person who realizes that there is always another way, and that almost nothing is impossible.



  • The Sunset I’ll Never Forget

    I was cleaning out my iPhone and I came across the photos that were taken the day of my Dad’s memorial.  For as long as I live, I will never forget that brilliant sunset that streaked across the sky when Jen and I went for a walk that day.  Perhaps I was just soaking in the energy of that day and my awareness was just heightened by a sense of loss, but I’m grateful for the gift of that masterpiece.

     

     

     

    And how appropriate is it that I came across this poem that I wrote in junior high, while cleaning out my desk today:

    A dash of red,

    Flames of fire,

    Smears of gold and

    The boldest yellow…

    Sunset.

     

    Colors,

    Dancing across the sky,

    To the last light

    Of fading gray…

    Darkness.