Ageless Passions by Karen Putz

Category: People You Should Know

  • Vote for Marlee, Says Her Friends at the Deaf Volleyball Tournament


    Yesterday, I spent the day refereeing at the Harper Deaf Volleyball tournament. There were about 300 people there with hands flying everywhere (including a couple of cuers). This tournament brought back a lot of memories, for my first introduction to volleyball was in college, when I played for the NIU deaf team. At that time, the tournament was hosted at Waubonsee College.

    I teamed up to referee with Caroline Depcik Smith, my old teammate. Caroline played in the Deaf Olympics (I was an alternate on the Olympic team and foolishly chose not to pursue that) and there were a couple of other Deaf Olympians as referees as well. We played an impromtu volleyball game before the tournament started and boy, did that make me miss playing!

    David played for the Hinsdale South team and while they did well in the round robin, they lost to Illinois School for the Deaf in the tournament in the first round of playoffs.

    Marlee Matlin’s two best friends in the photo above, Wendy Adams and Liz Tannebaum, reminded everyone to “Vote for Marlee” in Dancing with the Stars. Marlee is also on tonight’s movie, “Sweet Nothing in My Ear” on CBS. I’ll be watching that with my kids tonight.

    And here are my thoughts over at Disaboom: Sweet Nothing in my Ear Tackles Cochlear Implants.

  • Swimmer Aims for the Deaf Olympics

    Karen Meyer at ABC News Chicago did a segment this morning on deaf swimmer, Will Landgren: Deaf Swimmer’s Teammates Learn Sign Language.

    When Will first began swimming, his teammates wore sweatshirts to welcome him to the team. When Will’s cochlear implant comes off and he slips into the water, his teammates communicate with him by signing or through an interpreter. To me, that’s what inclusion is truly about– recognizing the barriers to communication and using a two-way street to get around them.

    When I was on the swim team in high school, I always had a teammate or two who would relay what the coach was saying because without my glasses, I couldn’t see well at all, much less hear. At swim meets, the coach always lined me up near the starting gun so I could see the flash of the gun. A strobe light would have truly been appreciated back then!

    More on Will:

    Deaf Swimmer Makes a Splash

    A Time for the Signs

    Will is aiming to qualify for the Deaf Olympics and I’m betting he’ll swim his way to a medal there.

  • One Family Beats the Divorce Odds


    While I was doing research for my Disaboom article on marriage, I came across Tina Calabro’s story in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette:

    Authors Counsel Parents with Special Needs Children.

    The author, Tina Calabro shared her own journey of handling the bumps in marriage after son was born. She also highlighted an excellent book: Married with Special Needs Children written by Laura E. Marshak and Fran P. Prezant.

    Tina and her husband were married six years when their son Mark was born. Her uterus ruptured during the birth and Mark had APGAR scores of 0,2 and 4 and was put on a breathing machine. Mark had an injury to the basal ganglia of his brain and was diagnosed with athetoid cerebral palsy.

    “My husband and I were very much in sync around the time of Mark’s birth,” said Tina. “We were stunned and overwhelmed by what had happened. We cried together and even found ways to laugh together from time to time, even though our situation was unbelievably serious.”

    Tina shared more:

    But we started to have conflict when Mark’s situation had stabilized and I began to shift into gear to get him every early intervention support possible. I was driven to do as much as I can to mitigate Mark’s serious developmental delays. My husband had a more wait-and-see attitude. “Maybe he won’t need all this,” he used to tell me. I would just think “are you crazy?” and keep rounding up services. It was so obvious to me that Mark was going to have serious impairment. I felt that I was doing the right thing by plunging ahead, even though my drive to do so was creating a rift between me and Dave.

    After about two or three years, the rift had become bigger. Over time, I had become the “expert” on Mark’s condition. Dave was a loving father to Mark, but I had assumed this managerial role in regard to the condition. So I guess you could say that I placed myself as a sort of supervisor of my husband’s care of our son. Not that I enjoyed that position. I used to wish that Dave could be as driven as I about Mark’s therapies. etc.

     

    Tina began to fear that her marriage was headed for divorce. Frustration was escalating between them and they couldn’t see eye-to-eye on Mark’s care. She sought out counseling with Dr. Laura Marshak and began to explore the reasons why the marriage was unraveling.

    “At the time, I felt that Dave and I were headed for divorce because we couldn’t get on the same page,” Tina recalled. “I was frustrated with him, and I’m sure he was frustrated with me. That’s when Laura (Dr. Marshak) said something that turned me completely around. She said, instead of essentially getting rid of Dave (not really ‘Dave,’ but really the frustration), how about trying to teach him WHY I do the things I do. Teach him the reasoning behind it, etc. Laura told me that from what she was hearing about Dave that he could be trained, so to speak.”

    At first, Tina recoiled at the suggestion. “I had enough to do without also teaching my husband on the intricacies of our son’s condition,” she said. “But, upon further thought, I realized that Laura was right. If Dave learned the ‘why’ of what I was doing, he might come on board.”

    Counseling helped Tina to communicate with Dave and the two of them began to shift their perspectives and division of care for their son. Dave became fully involved with his son’s care and began to specialize in taking care of Mark’s technological needs.

    Today, Mark is an honor roll student who attends his local elementary school powering along in his wheelchair and using a communication device to connect with the students and teachers.

    As for Tina and Dave, they’re still together.

    Says Tina, “We’re celebrating our 20th anniversary this year!”

  • Tree Wise Author on ABC News


    Karen Meyer featured deaf author, Antoinette Abbamonte, who wrote “Tree Wise,” a story about a tree teaching children about Deaf Culture.

    Antoinette is a deaf actress who was featured in the film, “Wrong Game” along with Chicago local, Liz Tannebaum. She’s also found in the video, Sign and ABCs.

    You can view the entire ABC interview here:

    Mom’s Book Teaches Kids about Deaf Culture.

  • Heather Whitestone–From her Mom’s View

    When Heather Whitestone became Miss America back in 1995, I watched the pageant with great interest. This was the first time in history that a profoundly deaf contestant had become Miss America. A video clip of that moment can be viewed here: Video of Heather Whitestone.

    I read Heather’s book, Listening With My Heart shortly after it was released. Two weeks ago, my library had the book, Yes, You Can, Heather! on a display shelf. Written by Daphne Gray, Heather’s mother, she tells the story of raising a deaf child during a time when Auditory Verbal methods were not commonly known.

    Daphne shares the long hours that were spent on language and speech: “…I had to devote all my time after supper to working with Heather on her speech therapy as well as her schoolwork–and now the Beka material on top of it all. Some nights we’d finish so late that I’d send Heather on to bed at 10 or 10:30 knowing I’d have to wake her up before five the next morning so we could go over the words for her spelling test.”

    Daphne had an amazing amount of dedication to her daughter–and it helped that Heather had an amazing amount of drive to match.

    I found myself relating to Heather in a situation where Daphne tried to encourage Heather to be upfront and open about being deaf: “Like most teenagers, she wanted to belong and not stand out from the crowd. Usually she wore her hair in a style that covered her hearing aids. As a result, many of her high school classmates never realized Heather was deaf.”

    Yup, been there, done that. Did it so well that many students didn’t even know that I wore a hearing aid until a news article appeared in the high school newspaper featuring me and my friend Shawn, who was also hard of hearing. It took me nearly a year after I became deaf before I could wear my hair up in a ponytail with my hearing aid perched on my ear. Comfortably. In public.

    Daphne also touched on social bluffing and how difficult it was for Heather to participate in conversations. “Lunchtime was especially miserable for Heather,” Daphne wrote. “She found it nearly impossible to pick voices out of the constant roar of cafeteria commotion in her ear. That meant she had to rely almost totally on lipreading around the lunch table. ‘I get tired of asking my friends to repeat what I don’t hear,’ she admitted. ‘And I think somtimes they get tired of me asking. So I just laugh when the people around me laugh. That makes me sad. I want to be part of the conversation. But I’m not.’”

    That particular section of the book made me sad as well. I think it is so easy for us parents and professionals to get caught up in the accomplishments of deaf and hard of hearing people and forget that on a deeper level, if communication access isn’t accommodated for, then deaf and hard of hearing people still get left out of conversations and social situations. From what I see in my own district, there’s still a lot of social isolation going on and we’re not addressing the social/emotional issues of mainstreamed students.

    As for Heather, she has gone on to open her own company and line of beauty products. She’s married and has three little ones of her own. She’s a spokeswoman for the Starkey Foundation and Cochlear Americas and has bilateral cochlear implants.

  • Sound and Fury, Six Years Later– Purchasing Information

    Note: This is a re-post which includes information on how to purchase the film, Sound and Fury, Six Years Later.

    When Sound and Fury was released in October, 2000, the movie spurred discussions about cochlear implants all around the nation. The movie covered the story of two brothers who had deaf children. One chose to obtain a cochlear implant for his son, the other decided not to choose that for his daughter.

    I saw the movie in Chicago at a film festival with a friend. Never before had I experience a movie that was so raw and up close about the decisions that parents make when raising deaf and hard of hearing children.

    Sound and Fury often stayed on my mind, so about a year ago, I decided to get in touch with both families and find out how they were doing. I learned that all of the deaf members of the Artinian family had obtained a cochlear implant, with the exception of Peter. You can read the article here: Sound & Fury: A Family Comes Together Again.
    Josh Aronson, the director of the film, has now released a new film: Sound & Fury, Six Years Later. Heather Artinian obtained an implant at the age of nine and the film chronicles her life as a teen. For more information on how to obtain the film, contact Mr. Aronson at: aronsonfilms@aol.com.

    On another note, the youngest child to receive an implant is three months old: Music to the Ears.

    If you are interested in obtaining a copy of the film, contact Josh Aronson at: Aronsonfilms@aol.com. For schools and libraries, contact: linda@filmakers.com or lbK@aquariusproductions.com.

  • “Alone In The Mainstream” Makes an Impact

    “After I wrote yesterday’s entry,” says Sarah, in her blog, The 8th Nerve, “I ended up on the bathroom floor in a fetal position. That is the only position we are capable of when a lifetime of pain is finally allowed to pour through the body in a few moments. This is the beginning, after 28 years, of my acceptance of my hearing loss. Acceptance of the fact that I truly have a loss that can never be changed. In retrospect, it is unbelievable to me that I never emotionally processed any of this before.”

    I found Sarah’s blog through a comment that she left on mine. She had Googled “Alone In The Mainstream A Deaf Woman Remembers Public School” and found my review of Gina Oliva’s book.

    As I read through Sarah’s blog, my heart went out to her as she shared the beginning of her journey of acceptance– after 28 years, she was just now examining her life as a solitaire, a term that Gina Oliva uses to describe those who grew up having little or no contact with others who are deaf and hard of hearing. But an important point to note is that working through the pain paves the way for new explorations on the road to acceptance. Perhaps this will be a turning point for her and a chance to meet others that she can connect with.

    Gina’s book also made an impact here: What’s That You Said?

  • Remembering Who Helped You

    This morning, while waiting for an email to show up, I did my usual surfing the net for new writers who are deaf and hard of hearing.

    I stumbled upon Stephen Hopson’s Squidoo Lens: Adversity University. This lead me to his blog which stated: I’m a former award-winning Wall Street stockbroker turned motivational speaker, writer and pilot. In Feb 2006, I became the first deaf pilot in in the world to earn an instrument rating.

    I especially enjoyed his article, “Remember Who Helped You Along The Way.” There are two itinerant teachers who stand out in my memory: Mrs. Rellis and Mrs. Sweeney. Mrs. Rellis worked with me during my first two years in high school. At first, I did not enjoy our sessions. I didn’t like being pulled out of class for “extra help.” Mrs. Rellis didn’t give up. She quickly learned to make our sessions fun and informative. She taught me a few words in Italian as she related her plans for a trip to Italy. She found ways to talk to me about my feelings and gently made me face the issues I had with being hard of hearing. She connected me to Shawn, another student who also had hearing aids and she became my first friend that I could truly relate to about hearing loss.

    I was heartbroken when Mrs. Rellis told me that I was getting a new teacher two years later, but I learned to enjoy Mrs. Sweeney as well. Mrs. Sweeney discovered my love for writing and she encouraged me to write in different ways. During our final session at the end of high school, she took me out to lunch and presented me with a blank journal. That journal is one of my treasured possessions today.

    So, as Stephen Hopson suggested, remember who helped you along the way. Do you have a story to share about a special someone?

  • Karen Meyer– A Chicago Reporter Who is Deaf


    Tune into WLS Channel 7 in the Chicago area on Thursdays and Sundays and you’ll find Karen Meyer reporting on people with disabilities.

    Karen is deaf and has been doing the news since 1991, producing 104 stories per year. The current news segments can be viewed weekly, with the links to older stories found here: Karen Meyer News Segments.

    For more information about Karen: Achieving Dreams Through Persistance.

  • The Deaf Doc is In!

    It’s that time of the year when we get hit with the usual alphabet soup of winter ills: bronchitis, colds, flu and more. Dr. Carolyn Stern has a brand new medical website, DeafDOC, filled with information on a variety of health topics. Dr. Stern is a board certified family physician who practices in Rochester, New York. The unique aspect of this website: the information is given in American Sign Language as well as voiced and captioned.

    I first met Dr. Stern when she practiced at Lutheran General in the Chicago area several years ago. I was filled with a lot of questions, such as how to hear a heartbeat (she uses an amplified stethoscope) and how to measure blood pressure (it can also be measured manually through the hands). At that time, I was learning how to become a doula and had the opportunity to attend several births, including a home waterbirth. I was toying with the idea of a career in the birthing field. Dr. Stern was an inspiration, as she was catching babies and serving entire families with her practice. As it turned out, I pursued early intervention instead and got involved with Hands & Voices.

    Dr. Stern has a section on her website where you can Ask the Doc and get some feedback on your health concerns. She is also available as a speaker and a consultant.