Author: Karen Putz

My eyes have recovered.

After seven hours of absorbing information second-hand from two interpreters, I have recovered from the SOBCon that was held in Rosemont on Saturday.

When I first arrived, I was greeted by Phil Gerbyshak, the “Relationship Geek.” I had just discovered his blog a few days before the event but I recognized him after a few seconds and confirmed it with a glance at his name tag. Phil has an exuberant personality and he urges his readers to “Make it Great!” Phil spoke later on about the importance of being authentic and being yourself in your blog.

I met Liz Strauss in front of the registration desk and thanked her for providing the interpreters for the event. It was wonderful to meet her in person after reading her blog and learning from it for the last few weeks. Just as I settled in my seat, Terry Starbucker and Wendy Piersall came bounding up and offered big hugs. Phil, Liz, Terry and Wendy– what a nice welcome to receive!

I really enjoyed the small group discussion but I found myself suddenly shy and quiet. A couple of times I wanted to throw in suggestions but I couldn’t make myself speak up. Anyone who knows me usually can find me yakking away, so I left the conference feeling like I needed another day to get to know everyone. Perhaps if I had been able to attend on Friday night, I might have felt more comfortable at speaking out.

I learned a few things about blogging at this conference and I’m making my way through the blogs from the list of attendees. Terry Starbucker was the perfect MC and his winning personality (not to mention his singing, which the interpreters said was pretty good!) added a special touch to the day.

To top it off, the lunch was absolutely delicious!

Back in March, we had an IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting with our school district that did not end well. The hubby and I had requested a change of schools for our son David. David is deaf and attends our local school with a sign language interpreter. We wanted to send him to Hinsdale South, a school that has nearly 70 deaf students. You can read about the previous meeting here.

After that disappointing meeting, we contacted a few lawyers and Equip for Equality. Leeanne Seaver, the director of Hands & Voices reminded me to get everything in writing and hand-deliver a letter to the IEP team. I sat down to write a three-page letter and delivered it to the team and included the superintendent and principal. I followed up with a phone call and I reminded everyone of the outcome that we desired.

So today, we had David’s placement meeting and it went rather well. Beth (the mom of the 12 pound baby) attended as our advocate. Only one teacher voiced a bit of opposition this time but we were able to work through that. This teacher had children of her own in special education and was a big supporter of inclusion. We were fortunate that a social worker with a background in deaf education spoke in support as well as David’s itinerant teacher. We ended up with the placement at Hinsdale South.

David is looking forward to attending the same school that his father went to. His friend Aubrey (Beth’s daughter)is also going. The two of them have been friends since they were babies and they are excited about finally going to school together.

At the end of October, the Royal Caribbean Freedom of the Seas will set sail with over 4,000 passengers. For the first time in history, the cruise will consist of deaf and hard of hearing passengers.

On the entire ship.

That’s right, the Deaf Freedom Cruise will be the first time an entire cruise ship is devoted to deaf and hard of hearing passengers. This cruise was made possible by the hard work and dedication of the staff of Passages Deaf Travel.

Passages Deaf Travel is owned by Tabitha and Max Partlow, a husband and wife team. Tabitha first became involved with the Deaf community when she went to college to become an interpreter. The idea of creating a travel business devoted to deaf and hard of hearing persons came about when they attended a cruise with twenty-two other deaf passengers. Despite being promised interpreters and room kits, the deaf passengers boarded the ship only to find out there were none.
“It was at that point that Mac and I realized the need for travel agents to specialize in deaf travel” said Tabitha.

Last year, the team hosted Adventure Cruise 2006 with a group of 350 deaf and hard of hearing travelers aboard Royal Caribbean’s Adventure of the Seas. “We had such a wonderful response to that cruise that I wondered if enough people would be interested enough to fill an entire ship,” said Tabitha.

“When we had this idea,” she continued, “I went to many different cruise companies to see who wanted to do this. Some cruise companies turned me down. Royal Caribbean and Carnival wanted to do it. Royal Caribbean really stepped up and decided to provide the interpreters and room kits at no additional cost to our clients.” Real-time captioning will also be provided.

The staff of Royal Caribbean also convinced Tabitha that she could fill up the newest and biggest ship, Freedom of the Seas. “I wasn’t thinking about the biggest cruise ship at the time… but Royal Caribbean talked us into it,” she said. “Now I am thrilled, it is the best ship!”

Over 3,800 people have booked their rooms and the ship is nearly at capacity. Fully booked, it will hold 4,100 people. Royal Caribbean plans to take pictures of all of the passengers together, but will have to divide it up into four pictures. “Perhaps we can put all four pictures together to make big one!” Tabitha chuckled.
Current sponsors of the trip include Hands On VRS, Worldvuer, DeafNation and Crown Jewelers and more. Entertainment will be provided by some well-known performers, including John Maucere, Bernard Bragg, Keith Wann and CJ Jones. “Keith Wann will have a morning talk show that will air on TV in each cabin, every morning!” said Tabitha. “Keith will talk about the events happening that day, weather, dinner, and other things. Each day, he will interview someone from the ship.”

This cruise is the accumulation of a dream for Tabitha. “We feel that the travel industry should provide more access for deaf people” said Tabitha.

“Maybe once they see how successful Deaf Freedom Cruise is… maybe they will come around.”

View the DeafNation video of Freedom of the Seas

What would you do if the local dry cleaning establishment lost your favorite pair of pants?

Like most people, you would get a little upset. You might become tremendously pissed off and make the establishment refund you for the cost of the dry cleaning and the pants. At worse, you’d haul them off to small claims court and let a judge settle the case.

Then you’d go out and buy another pair of pants and go off to work.

Like most people.

Apparently, Roy Pearson isn’t like most people. He’s a judge from Washington, D.C. who decided to take his own case to court and sue the local dry cleaners to the tune of $65 million dollars.

For losing his pants.

The Chungs, who own the dry cleaning establishment, have done everything they can to remedy the issue without going to court. They’ve offered plenty of money to replace the suit and settle the matter. An offer of twelve grand did nothing to satisfy Mr. Pearson.

He’s still dragging them to court and asking for $65 million dollars for the inconvenience of having to rent a car and drive across town to use another dry cleaners.

To top it off, the Chungs claim that they have found his pants.

Let’s hope a more level-headed judge will throw this case out and make Pearson pay for this absurd use of our legal system.

And to help this case out, I’ve got a perfectly good suit sitting in my husband’s closet– Pearson, do you want it?

For as long as I can remember, I have always had my nose buried in a book. My mom used to complain when I brought a book to the dinner table. Recently, while doing some surfing on the internet, I came across a compilation of books that have deaf or hard of hearing characters in them on My Shelf.

Brenda, the website owner, has a personal interest in books with deaf characters. Her 24-year-old son is deaf. One day in 1998, she decided to put together a list of fiction books. Today, you will find books on American Sign Language and other non-fiction topics as well. Brenda has read many of the books herself, and provides a summary of each as well as personal notes on some of them.

Check it out: My Shelf– Deaf Characters

Over at Diary of a Goldfish, they’re Blogging About Disablism. Simply put, Disablism is right up there with a long line of “isms,” which boils down to a simple word: discrimination. I also call it a reality based on fear or discomfort.

As many of you know, the hubby and I are deaf and we’re raising three deaf and hard of hearing kids. At first glance, we don’t look any different from the hundreds of families in our neighborhood. We’re just another family in the typical American tract home, driving three kids in two cars to three different activities on the same day.

Glance at us a second time, and you’ll find hearing aids in each of our ears. Our youngest son sports red, white and blue earmolds. We’ve gone through quite a few color combinations throughout the years, including the blue and white swirls in honor of their school colors. Your eyes might catch us signing or tapping each other on the shoulder.

Invite us to a party and you find that we might be a bit quiet at times. Joining in on group conversations is nearly impossible for us. Our eyes simply can’t play ping pong with conversations. As soon as we’ve lipread one conversation and turn to lipread a response from someone else, the conversation moves yet again. That’s why we love people who are willing to understand the logistics of group conversation and slow down until we’ve made eye contact and take turns speaking. Unfortunately, it’s a rare occasion when this happens. That’s why we like our activities with a group of deaf and hard of hearing friends– conversation flows and the communication barriers fall to the wayside. I get riled up when people tell me that we need to be “in the real world with hearing people.” Believe me, we’re in the real world everyday. I just like my world accessible.

We have a couple of people in our lives that have that “deer in the headlights” look whenever they’re around us. They’re quite uncomfortable making conversation and they offer a few sentences and then dart away. There’s no real deep meaningful dialogue because they’re so afraid of having to repeat themselves and the tension runs too high. Sometimes we joke about slipping a few anti-anxiety pills in their coffee.

Making a phone call to us can be a bit tricky but it is improving with technology all the time. We now have a regular number that people can call without us having to explain what a relay service is. In years past, we would have to give out an 800 number and our home phone number and people would often give up before attempting to call us. We still have kinks to work out with people who hang up when they get an operator instead of us directly.

The invention that I personally love right now is the videophone. I use a wireless phone to talk to people directly and I have an interpreter on a screen in front of me who signs everything that is being said. Most of the time, conversation flows pretty easily with this method.

Around the internet, I identify myself as “Deaf Mom.” It’s me, it’s who I am, it’s a part of me 24/7. Being deaf is so much a part of me that if you can’t see beyond the lack of hearing stuff, then you’ve got a disability of your own.

On Monday, I attended Austin’s birth with my friend Beth and her husband. During the twelve hours of labor, various nurses, the doctor and family members came in and out of the room.

For a couple of moments throughout the day, I briefly wished I could hear.

Don’t get me wrong. I feel quite comfortable with myself and I’m assertive enough to ask people to repeat what is being said. So it’s not a matter of accepting that I’m deaf. I was comfortable enough to feel that I didn’t need an interpreter.

However, there are always situations that come up where asking to repeat things can’t happen. For example, one of the husband’s friends came into the room and a lot of conversation was flowing. I couldn’t join in, since it was moving far too fast for me. A new nurse would come in every couple of hours and I would have to get used to lipreading a different person all day long. Those are the kinds of situations that deaf and hard of hearing people face on a daily basis and frequently get left out of, because there’s no polite way to join in the conversation and comprehend everything that’s being said.

I’ve attended two of Beth’s births previously and felt quite comfortable supporting her. We’ve been friends for fourteen years. When it came time to push, I was on one side holding one leg, the hubby was on the other side. Pushing was moving alone routinely.

In the middle of Austin’s birth, all hell broke loose. The doctor called a code and suddenly the room filled with doctors and nurses. I, of course, couldn’t hear what was going on. Beth’s husband mouthed the words, “They’re calling for a cesarean!” Austin was stuck.

For several frightening minutes, there was a lot of yelling. I saw the doctor go in with both hands, and I knew instinctively that there was little time to spare. A nurse jumped on top of Beth and applied pressure. I knew those were emergency measures and something inside of me made me lean over Beth and urge her to push.

“Beth, push!”

And somewhere during the moments of praying, watching, and holding my breath, a thought suddenly popped into my mind.

I wish I could hear what everyone is saying.

The thought quickly disappeared as the events unfolded. Austin was brought to the baby warmer and for several heart-wrenching minutes, we didn’t know if he was going to make it. It took a few minutes to get him breathing and he pinked up.

It wasn’t until today that I reflected back on all that had happened and about that thought that had popped in to my head.

Why in the world, in the middle of all that was happening, did I wish that I could hear?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized why: when I urged Beth to push, I was operating on instinct. There was no way for me to hear the doctor’s instructions.

What if I was wrong? What if pushing at that moment was not the right thing to do.

What if my lack of hearing and understanding had hurt my friend?

So it had me wondering about deaf and hard of hearing doctors and nurses– there are several of them around the U.S.– how do they handle emergency situations when a code is called?

Stay tuned as I find out more.

It’s a boy! A big boy! Austin arrived weighing 11 pounds, 12 ounces.

It was a scary birth though after twelve hours of uneventful labor. At one point, the doc called for a cesarean (the baby’s head was showing but not progressing) and tried to push the baby back in. Quickly changed his mind and with several pushes, Austin came out with the cord compressed near his head and shoulders.

Mom and baby are doing fine today.

Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day. My friend Beth is heading to the hospital to have her fifth baby. Tomorrow’s birth will be the fourth birth we’ve shared together. Beth attended my daughter’s birth and I’ve attended two of her son’s births.

For a couple of years, I entertained the idea of becoming a professional doula. My third child was born at home and his homebirth sparked the idea that I wanted to help support moms during birth. I started the process of becoming a childbirth educator and began studying for certification.

I’ve been fortunate to be able to share in several births with a few friends. When my friend Sue gave birth to her third child, it was one of the toughest births for her. Katie arrived faced up. She gave her mom a rough time in labor, but she’s one of the sweetest kids you’ve ever met.

My friend Cathy gave birth to a tiny little girl– Caitlin was just one pound thirteen ounces. I arrived at the hospital just in time to see them wheeling her out of the room in an incubator. Today, Caitlin is in first grade and smart as a whip.

The one birth that I will always remember vividly is M’s birth. M and I met online. We chatted online frequently and got together with our kids. Her two children were born via cesarean and M was planning a homebirth. She invited me to support her at her daughter’s birth.

I was in Michigan when I got the call that labor started. I jumped in the car and got to her house in record time. She labored on and off all night. By morning, she was starting to vocalize more and become uncomfortable. I urged her to step in the tub for some relief and her husband called the midwife. I looked down and realized that the baby had moved down quite a bit. “The baby’s moving down,” I said.

“No, not yet,” she replied.

About a half hour later, I knew that the baby was going to arrive soon, with or without a midwife. I looked at her husband and asked him, “Are you ready to catch?”

At that moment, the midwife walked in. She grabbed some gloves and with a couple of strong pushes, M’s baby arrived in the water.

Ah, birth– there’s nothing like the arrival of a new little one into the world.

I can’t wait for tomorrow!

Five Minutes for Mom is giving away a neat prize: A Phillips Digital Photo Frame!

This neat gadget rotates photos from a memory disk. I really want one of these things because my digital photos are almost never displayed in my home, because I’m too lazy to get them printed out!