Author: Karen Putz

  • The Honor of Attending a Water Birth

    I was sitting on the couch up in Michigan when the phone rang. It was 10:30 p.m.

    “It’s your friend,” said my Dad.  “She’s in labor and wants you to come now.”

    I grabbed my bag and jumped in the car.  It was a two hour drive to Mary Kate’s house, but I shaved off some time with a heavy foot and no traffic to deal with.  I didn’t want to miss the birth.  Mary Kate and I had met on a homebirth forum online and became friends.  We both had birthed our first two kids via cesarean and I had homebirthed my third kiddo.  Mary Kate asked me to be a doula for her home water birth and I was looking forward to supporting her during the birth.

    When I arrived, Mary Kate’s labor had slowed down.  “I’m going to head to the food store and get a few things,” I said.  I figured we might be in for a long night and I decided to make some dinners for after the birth.  I started a pot of soup and a roast.  Mary Kate’s surges would come and go and she did a beautiful job of breathing through them.  “Get as much sleep as you can,” I said.  I settled in on the couch for a few hours of sleep.

    Kyle, Mary Kate’s husband woke me up early in the morning.  Mary Kate’s parents arrived to pick up the boys and take them to their house.  Once the boys left, labor started to kick in.  Kyle started filling up the water birth tub so that Mary Kate could labor in it.   Before she stepped in, she was holding on to Kyle and she said, “I can’t do this anymore.”

    Instantly, my instincts kicked in and I knew that labor was progressing.  “Do you want to call the midwife now?” I asked.

    “No, not yet,” Mary Kate said.  “I don’t want her to come too early.”

    Mary Kate sank into the tub and Kyle and I took turns supporting her.  The labor picked up more intensely and I told Kyle that I thought it was time to call the midwife.  He went off to call her and I continued to support Mary Kate.  When Kyle returned, we switched places and I noticed that the baby had moved down.

    “Mary Kate, your baby is moving down,” I said.

    She was in denial.  It was hard for her to believe that after two cesareans, she was going to be able to birth her baby.  I looked at Kyle.  “Do you want to catch or do you want me to catch?”

    “I’ll catch,” he said.

    A few minutes later, the midwife walked in.  She assessed Mary Kate and said that she was ready to push.  I went to grab the camera and videocamera.

    Ten years ago on this day, Maeve slipped into the water and Mary Kate brought her up to snuggle on her chest.  It was a moment that I’ll always remember– the dawn of a new day and a new soul arriving in this world.  Happy Birthday, Maeve!

  • The Ghost at Christie Lake

    From the time I was seven, I spent my summers at Christie Lake, a small lake located in Lawrence, Michigan. On the weekends, I would go up to the lake with my friend Chris, whose family owned a cottage. Most of our days were spent lazing on the water in the inner tube or zipping around in her father’s boat.

    One summer day when I was eleven, my parents and my older brother came up for the day. We were cruising around the lake and my brother noticed a “For Sale” sign planted in front of a cute, green cottage.

    “Come on,” my brother said, “Let’s just go inside and take a look. It won’t hurt to see how much it is.”

    The next thing I knew, we were unpacking suitcases inside the cute, green cottage. My parents had placed an offer that very day and purchased the place.

    While getting to know the new next-door-neighbors, we learned about the previous occupants of the home. The original owners were Mr. and Mrs. Eberhart and their two sons. Mrs. Eberhart had a reputation of being a rather tart lady and Mr. Eberhart often meekly complied with her demands.

    One day, the combination proved to be a fatal one. A storm was brewing and it had started to rain. Mrs. Eberhart turned to her husband and insisted that the boat needed to be covered.  Mr. Eberhart protested as there was lightning in the distance.

    He didn’t win.

    He and his son headed out in the storm to cover the boats. As the rain pelted down, they were suddenly both struck by lightning.

    Mr. Eberhart lost his life as he fell into the boat.

    After a few years, Mrs. Eberhart and her sons moved away and sold the cottages to another family, who in turn, sold it to us.

    Hearing the story sent chills through me, but I didn’t give it another thought. My sister and I eagerly unpacked our things in the room we shared. In the bedroom, we discovered an unusual closet with two doors. One door was at eye level and the other door was high up near the ceiling. We had to get a step stool to reach the upper door and found it difficult to open. We stuffed a sleeping bag inside that closet and went off to explore the rest of the cottage.
    We spent many wonderful summers at the lake.  At night time, I wasn’t too crazy about the room that my sister and I shared. It was dark and paneled in pine, with a single lamp illuminating the darkness. I didn’t like
    falling asleep there, especially late at night.  I always felt as if someone else was in the room with me.

    Every now and then, we would have a guest and have to get out the sleeping bag. This was no easy task, as the upper closet door was often hard to open.  A chair was required to reach the latch and it would take some tugging to get the closet door to budge.

    One night, while heading to the bathroom, I noticed that the upper closet door was ajar. I shrugged it off, thinking that someone grabbed the sleeping bag after I had gone to sleep and simply left the door open.

    The next morning, I woke up and noticed that the closet door was closed. I looked around and observed that no one had used a sleeping bag the night before.

    Hmmm, I thought to myself, I must have been dreaming.

    During a few more occasions, the same thing happened. I started to wonder if perhaps Mr. Eberhart was actually around.

    Oh come on, Karen, I mumbled to myself.  Of course, I didn’t believe in ghosts. How silly.

    Fast forward, many years later, and my parents hauled away the cute little cottage to the other side of town. They built their brand new retirement home on the same land.
    One evening, my father and I were watching TV and he casually turned to me and asked, “Karen, do you believe in ghosts?”

    Startled, I looked at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”

    So Dad went on to explain how at night, he would hear strange noises. He would often get up to check, and find nothing. There were many nights he felt that someone was in the house. He could hear the stairs creaking as if someone was walking up.

    But no one was there.

    So I told him about the closet door and how I would find it wide open at night.  Just at that moment, my sister walked into the room.

    “What are you guys talking about?”

    We filled her in, and to my utter surprise, she said, “Oh yea, I remember seeing the closet open at night too. It was really weird, because in the morning it was closed. I always figured you closed it.”

    And I had always figured she had closed it!

    Hmmm. We looked at each other and we all burst out laughing. We figured that Mr. Eberhart was living with us all those years.

    He must still be mad at his wife for sending him out in the storm.

    Fast forward to this summer. Two weeks ago, the radio in my boat kept turning on. We thought the kids were leaving it on but they vehemently denied even touching the radio. Joe replaced the cables on the battery that week and I had taken the boat to a mechanic for some repairs. We thought maybe the wiring was loose or the rocking of the boat had turned on the radio.

    Last Friday, I took my Mom and sister for a boat ride in the evening. When we arrived back at the dock, I made sure everything was turned off, including the radio. I climbed on to the pier and I was talking with my Mom, when suddenly, a light caught my eye.

    The radio turned on.

    I nudged my Mom. “Take a look, Mom! The radio is on! You just saw me turn everything off!”

    We took one look at each other, then at the boat, and we burst out laughing.

    I guess Mr. Eberhart has a sense of humor turning a radio on for a deaf family.

  • Hey, Slow It Down, Girl

    Every once in a while, life hands over a slap upside the head.  This weekend was one of those moments when life said, “Hey, slow it down, girl.”

    I left for Michigan with the boys in tow.  Lauren was down in Texas with Sarah and Joe was still working.  The boys let me enjoy my mellow music on the way up while they buried their heads in the laptop.  There wasn’t much talking on the way up, we were decompressing from a busy week.  Heck, make that a busy summer.  The kids were off in three directions most of the time with Mom on a plane the other half of the time.  I vaguely remembered a husband somewhere in all this.

    On the way up, I thought about my Dad and the ups and downs since his diagnosis of esophageal cancer last summer.  Last November, we celebrated with good news:  Dad had kicked the cancer on its rear end.

    A few weeks ago, he found a new lump.  At first, the doctor wasn’t too concerned, he figured it was benign.  Dad went for a PET scan and he was waiting for the results the morning we arrived.

    Dad was sitting in his chair when we arrived and after a hug, we cut to the chase.  “Well, the results aren’t good,” Dad said.  “The tests show that the cancer is back and one tumor is heading toward the lungs.  But the good news is, it’s still small.”

    So another round of chemo is coming up and Dad is determined to extend another kick into cancer’s rear end.  I’m buoyed by his optimism and his outlook and I know he has the strength to withstand anything.  The other tough blow over the weekend was the news that both of my brother’s have Barrett’s, which means they’re at an increased risk, but with diet, exercise and monitoring, they can kick this too.

    All of this which had me thinking about how life goes by crazy fast– and I thought back to a friend’s recent remark about how I seemed to have it all together and have achieved a balanced life. “You need to teach me how you are able to travel, write a book, go barefooting with the world’s champions, and advocate for causes to change the world for the better,” she wrote.

    After laughing hysterically, I informed her that my life was actually an unbalanced washing machine on a lopsided spin cycle.

    So every now and then, when life slaps us upside the head, that’s when we slow down and pay attention to the stuff that matters:  the relationships we have with those around us and the stuff that brings us joy instead of sorrow.   One friend reminded me to celebrate the fact that we were given a gift of time since Dad’s diagnosis last year.  So I’m thankful that I get to wrap my arms around my parents each time I visit them.

    So, over the weekend, I slowed it down.  I bonded with the boys as we floated in the lake after tubing.  I went shopping with my Mom, sis and a neighbor and we gathered some healthy food for the weekend.  I watched Two and Half Men with Dad and told him about my barefooting and wakeboarding adventures of the day.

    Don’t wait for life to slap you upside the head.

  • Karen Putz Chosen as a “Hidden Pearl”

    I’m proud to be among 20 amazing Deaf women chosen as “Pearls” by The M Project:

    The Pearls, by The M Project

    Next year, June 4, 2011, I will have to the opportunity to meet them all in Studio City, California.  I’m looking forward to getting to know these amazing gals!

    “Is a jewel just a pebble, that found a way to shine?”  –John Denver

  • ZVRS Reveals VRS with iPhone4

    Over 200 folks gathered at the Hard Rock Cafe in Philadelphia on July 7, 2010 for a private event hosted by ZVRS. Tim Rarus took the stage and talked about the history of video relay service. “In the old days before the TTY,” he explained, “if you wanted to make an appointment with your doctor, you either had to find a neighbor to make a phone call or drive to the doctor’s office to make the appointment.”

    Now… imagine…  today…

    “You reach in your pocket and pull out your iPhone4 and you make a call using video relay.  Yes, today, it is now possible with ZVRS to make a video relay call!”

    Three people from the audience, including Gallaudet president, Dr. T. Alan Hurwitz, made historical video relay calls from the stage.  It was absolutely amazing to watch each of them communicate via using a cell phone– how many of us have dreamed of that day?  The day is here!

    Quoted in the Apple Insider: Apple Insider Article

    Quoted in the MacApper: MacApper Article

    Quoted in the Today’s iPhone:  Today’s iPhone

    Engaget Article:  Engaget

  • Barefooting, I Mean, Butt Riding

    I spent most of the July 4th weekend on my butt instead of my feet.  It was frustrating challenging.

    Andy, my nephew, brought his boat up Saturday so I decided to try some deep water starts behind his boat.  Andy had never pulled before so I knew I was gambling with inexperience, but I figured he would get the hang of it quickly.  During the first start, he went s.l.o.w.  I kept hanging on, thinking he would pick up the speed.  He kept it going, figuring he’d up the speed when I sat up.

    I finally let go.

    Round two was better, I sat up and moved over the wake and Andy picked up speed.  I had Judy Myer’s, Keith St. Onge’s and Joann O’Conner’s advice running through my head as I placed my feet on the water.

    Three point!

    Heels toward your butt!

    Feet on the water like you’re dropping an egg!

    This is how I spent the rest of the evening:

    On one start, it was the perfect storm.  I sat up and hit the stern roller just as Andy added more speed.  I popped up and lost the handle.  It snapped into my foot.  Can you say, “Ouch?”

    I took a break and pulled Andy water skiing back to shore and I decided that it was time to hit the kneeboard so that I could actually get some footin in:

    Being the stubborn gal I am, I decided to try the deep start a couple more times while the sun was setting.  Bad move.  As soon as I put my feet on the water and attempted to stand up, I felt my hamstring go “Pop!” and then:

    The next day, my old footin buddy, Marty and his sister Michele picked me up.  Marty purchased a new, 100-foot Barefoot International rope and I decided to take Joann’s advice to stay behind the boat and plant my feet there.  After another gazillion tries, I knew I had to embrace the kneeboard again if I was going to see any barefooting time.

    After that run, I gave Michele the kneeboard and said, “I gotta try one more time with the deep start to see if I can end this on a successful run.”

    Let’s just say that if there was a butt-riding contest– I’d win.

  • Putz Household Celebrates Clean Sink

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

    Chicago–  The Putz Household is celebrating tonight.  For the first time since January 15, 2007, the Putz family has found the bottom of their sink again.

    “It’s a miracle,” exclaimed Karen Putz, head of the household.  “The last time I saw the bottom of the sink was several years ago. I forgot what it looked like!”

    Putz credits an empty house and lack of travel for the successful accomplishment.  “The kids are at camp all week and this was the first week in June that I didn’t have to fly somewhere,” said Putz.  “I took one look at the mountain of dishes and said to myself, ‘I’m going to conquer that this week!’”

    It took Putz nearly an hour to load up the dishwasher and start the automatic cleaning process with a push of a button.  The large serving trays from Lauren’s graduation party were washed by hand and stored in the cabinet.

    Over at Christie Lake in Lawrence, Michigan, Putz’s parents reacted with surprise and an excited cheer. “I’m so proud of my daughter!” said Marian Griffard.  “This is such an amazing feat!”

    Putz was amazed to discover a shiny sink after a few scrubs with a Scotch-Brite scrubber and some baking soda.

    “I was just blinded by the find,” said Putz.  “I had to dig out my sunglasses to finish the job.”

    Putz plans to celebrate her thrilling achievement with a gathering of her closest friends tonight.

    #  #  #

  • Goodbye to Chicago Moms Blog, Hello to The Chicago Moms

    For the last two years, I have been writing for the Chicago Moms Blog, a network of blogs owned by the Silicon Valley Moms group.  When I first came across the blog almost three years ago, I said to myself, “I want to write for them someday!” The blog network included Katie Couric from the New York Moms blog.

    That someday came when Beth Blecherman, the co-founder, responded to a comment that I left on a disability blog post that she wrote and she sent me an email.  “Your blog is fantastic and inspirational,” she wrote.

    And… would I like to write for the SV Valley Moms network, she asked.

    Of course, the answer was yes. My first post was “When Your Only Option is a Thong.” As a result of that post, I’ve endured countless thong jokes and every now and then Vicki slings me a thong virtually on Twitter.  No amount of money will entice me to wear a thong.  Ever. Again.

    The Chicago Moms Blog gave me the opportunity to have three of my posts syndicated in newspapers around the country.  To have a post selected for syndication was quite an honor, as only a few posts were selected from the many posts each week.

    I also had the opportunity to connect with the Chicago Moms at several area events, including a special meetup of the Chicago Moms:

    In a surprising turn of events, we learned that the Chicago Moms Blog and the entire network of SV Moms  would no longer be active.  It was a heartbreaking announcement for everyone.  Out of sad news came good news: The Chicago Moms website was born.

    Stay tuned!  I’ll still be around as a Chicago Mom and will continue to write.  I promise not to sling any thongs on the new site.

  • Embracing My Deaf Self

    Flowers that stand out It is eleven o’clock at night and my house is filled with the sound of eight teenagers sitting around my family room chatting and laughing.  Some of them are signing, some of them are animatedly talking.  Some of them are deaf, some are hard of hearing and two of them have hearing in the normal range. Three of them are mine and all three have hearing aids perched in their ears.  My youngest sports colorful earmolds with red, white and blue swirls. I’ve got a pair of blue earmolds with sparkles shining out from under my dark hair.

    As I watch the kids talk excitedly about some silly photo on Facebook, I’m thinking back to my own teen years. My summers as a teen were spent hiding the fact that I couldn’t hear.  As soon as the school year ended in the late spring, my lone hearing aid was placed on a ledge and never touched until the first day of school in the fall. I spent my summers with a great group of friends, many who knew just what to do to make communication happen between us. I depended a lot on my lipreading skills to piece together conversations.  It was the casual group gatherings that had me bluffing my way through conversations because it was next to impossible to lipread the many lips that were speaking at the same time.

    Then there was the stigma of being different, of standing out. I tried hard not to stand out, instead trying everything I could to blend in and be “one of them.”

    My life changed in an instant the summer I was nineteen.  I was barefooting behind the boat, practicing wake crossing.  As my feet skimmed across the water, my foot caught the edge of the wake and I slammed into the water. There was no time to do a normal tuck and roll, something I had done many times before.  When I climbed into the boat, I tried to shake the water out of my ears. Everything sounded muffled–lips moved but there wasn’t the usual sound to match with it.

    It wasn’t until many days later that I realized that I had become deaf.

    My life took an interesting turn at that point. Once the grief subsided and I dried the tears, I entered a new world filled with deaf and hard of hearing people. It wasn’t easy– because I had spent the previous 19 years of my life hiding my hearing aid and feeling quite uncomfortable with anything that reminded me that I was “different.”  It took awhile for me to learn American Sign Language and get to the point that I embraced a deaf identity.  Once I did, there was an amazing transformation in my life:  Yes, I am deaf and gosh-darn-it, that’s perfectly ok.

    One by one, my own kids began to lose their hearing and soon our lives were filled with hearing aids, IEPs, signing, speech therapy and other families with deaf and hard of hearing kids.  I do see the same struggles to understand everything being said around them, but I also see that my kids are growing up with a very different attitude than I had–they’re comfortable with themselves, assertive in getting their communication needs met… and they don’t hide their hearing aids. They have access to texting, interpreters, captioning, videophones and more.  They’re growing up with deaf and hard of hearing role models– something that I didn’t have access to.

    I came across a quote on Twitter recently that perfectly sums up what I wish I had known when I was growing up:

    Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?  –Unknown

    Originally published on Chicago Moms Blog.

  • Breathe

    Breathe.

    Have you ever found yourself going through life so fast that you’re holding your breath?  That’s how I found myself last week after six days of travel, eye surgery and running kids here and there.  I flew to Florida, came home, went to the doc, and then off to Milwaukee for the HLAA conference. I came home to news that my mom had gotten into a car accident–she ended up in a ditch with the wheel off and the front end totaled–and thankfully ok.    On Sunday, the boys went in two different directions to two different camps.  By the time we dropped the last kid off, we realized we weren’t going to make it to the family dinner an hour and half away.

    Breathe.

    I received a letter this week from Ron, a high school friend of mine. He is a retired Navy deep sea diver.  He is teaching me the mechanics about scuba diving in his letters and we plan to go scuba diving next year.  One of the most important things to remember when underwater is simply this:

    Breathe.

    Because you know what happens when you hold your breath underwater while scuba diving?  The pressure increases and if it increases too much at one point, the lungs go “ka-boom.”

    Breathe.

    A new friend reminded me of this.  As I sat at the car rental place waiting for Joe to pick me up, I quieted my mind and focused on breathing.  How easy it is to forget that simple thing that gives us energy and sustains our bodies.

    I thought back to Steven’s birth.  I learned about hypnobirthing while I was pregnant and taught myself the technique.  It involves putting yourself in a special place, deep breathing, affirmations and changing your attitude and thought process.   Fourteen hours of labor, while intense at times, was a calm experience thanks to this approach.  I realized that I used it last week at the doctor’s office, and the minute that the procedure was over, I went back into “spinning life” mode, racing home to finish up work.

    Breathe.

    A friend of mine asked me how to achieve more balance in life.  I busted out laughing.  I’m the last person to ask for that advice, I told her.  Ask me in thirty years.

    But you know what?  The answer is really simple one, as my new friend reminds me:

    Breathe.

    And remember to love yourself and others in the process.  Because that’s what life is all about.  Nothing else matters.